Recalling the Past

Recalling the Past

The content of Recalling the Past is slightly similar to the first half of Leaving Sorrowfully，which shows the poet's anger after suffering a political blow.

Recalling the past I gave advice to the emperor with sadness and pity.

I tried my best to express my heartfelt emotion which filled my heart.

If what I said did not come from the loyalty filling my heart，I could point the sky with my finger to give evidence for me.

Criminal documents could have the emperor of all directions to distinguish.

Allegation of criminal charge could have the god of six clans to give evidence.

God of mountains and rivers could come as a juror.

Gaoyao could be a judge to decide right from wrong.

I tried my best to be loyal to my distinguished emperor.

But unfortunately I was abandoned and treated as a wart.

I despise flatters and go against the basemen.

Wait for a wise king to exam the faint things.

There are traces to find for all my words and actions.

Hardly any changes both inside information and looks.

Emperor had a clearest understanding when observing ministers.

Because emperor's test and verify had neither bias nor partiality.

I always think of the emperor first and then consider my own.

But my morality and justice were hated by the common people.

Attentively thinking of the emperor with no distracting ideas.

As a result I was still considered as a personal enemy anyway.

I served the emperor whole-heartedly with no hesitation，

So I could not be worldly wise so as to make myself safe.

Eager to be close to the emperor without distracting ideas.

But this was changed into the cause of inducing calamities.

As for missing the emperor no one was so loyal like me.

I forgot myself but was put into a poor and humble state.

I serve the emperor wholeheartedly.

Too stupid to seek the way to flatter.

I'm loyal and devoted but why am I punished？

I really do not understand the reasons for this.

My behavior does not conform to common customs.

I'm in difficult position and laughed because of this.

Blames and slanders come without end at all.

Crimes were fastened on me and I'm wronged.

I'm depressed with no way to express this to the emperor.

He was cheated so I've no place to go to recount my case.

Great anxiety made me frustrated and hesitated.

No one perceives and knows my true positions.

Quite unhappy I cannot make others to understand me.

I'm willing to express my real feeling but there's no way.

Keep calm and quiet and bear with no one knowing me.

I call for advance but there is nobody who can hear me.

I feel disappointed，distracted perplexed in a sad mood.

Depressed，gloomy and hesitated my mind is in a whirl.(https://www.daowen.com)

I once dreamed I entered into the heaven court.

But my soul couldn't go further on the midway.

The God for killing and punishment practiced divinations.

He said about my dream that I am fair-minded and loyal.

But this would lead to dangers and dilemma.

He said the emperor could not be replied on.

There's a saying goes slanders can melt gold.

I suffered disaster and felt very much scared.

He said if dishes were too hot you should blow it.

He asked me for what I should persist in my ideas.

I am going to find a ladder to help me to climb to the sky.

But my thoughts are still old with a stubborn disposition.

My behavior made others too scared to go close to me.

How can I deal with anyone arrogant and domineering？

Serving emperor can have same aims in different ways.

How can I well deal with extremely arrogant ministers？

Prince Shen of Jin was very much dutiful to his own parents.

But his father believed slanders and got annoyed with him.

Being too upright and outspoken to be tolerant and magnanimous.

Gun failed to perfect his water-control project just because of this.

I heard loyal ministers are easy to court jealousy and resentment.

But I thought it was just like painting the devil blacker than he is.

If one suffers fracture nine times he'll become a good doctor.

Now I know there is really such a thing existing in this world.

They have already made short arrows aiming at the sky.

And also made nets directly to the lands under heaven.

Evildoers set a trap to deceive the emperor and cover the truth.

I am willing to go far away so as to avoid this but nowhere to go.

I wanted to wander and then went forward.

For fear disasters and crimes be put on me.

I wanted to go far away and live there forever.

But how can the emperor not ask why I leave.

I wanted to leave bravely at the risk of losing my way.

But I can't endure going against my original intention.

As if my back and chest got cut with pains from front to rear.

I became extremely depressed with vague pain off and on.

I mashed up mulan and triturated hui grasses.

I carefully ground dajiao and took it as food.

I sow jiangli and plant chrysanthemum.

I'm going to take them as delicious food.

I'm afraid I'll be too emotive to get believed at last.

Like an orphan I have to seriously clarify my ideas.

I'm willing to persist in all these virtues without shaking.

I'm willing to think over again and again and go far away.