Chapter 11 Wedding Traditions in China中国传统婚俗
Chinese marriage became custom during the Warring States period．Due to the vast expanse of the territory，different practices are followed in different places，although they all generally adhere to similar guidelines．Traditional marriage customs lost their popularity due to their complexity and the collapse of feudal society．However，traditional marriage can still be witnessed in the countryside．Especially recently，traditional marriage customs are being revived in some places and they are attracting many prospective couples．
1.Wedding Procedures
According to the old wedding custom of China，parents and matchmakers arranged the marriage．Especially for a woman，she had to“follow the man she married，in whatever ways”．She must obey her husband and abide by the decisions of her parents-in-law．The old wedding custom usually included the following procedures．
1)Engagement
The engagement was an indispensable procedure for the old marriage tradition．The process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance．The important parties in proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents of the prospective bride and groom，rather than the bride and groom themselves．Marriage was considered too important a duty to be left in the rash hands of the young．This process was placed in the hands of a go-between，who acted as a buffer between the two parties—a role similar to that of a real estate agent today．
A．Bringing Together
Before the engagement，the matchmaker would go between the two families to communicate the conditions of both，such as the family estate，family members，the appearance，age and temperament of both parties，etc．Generally speaking，the bridegroom's side would favor a literary family and the bride's side a rich one．Only if parents of both sides were satisfied with each other was it possible to go on to the next procedure．
B．Consensual Marriage
“Consensual Marriage”means that the eight characters about both parties' birthday were taken to the fortune-teller by the matchmaker to reckon whether they were right for each other as far as their birth signs were concerned and whether the union would yield a lucky result．Then the matchmaker would notify the results to the parents of both parties．For some discreet parents，they would see the other party at the appointed place when the fortune-telling results were thought lucky．If both parties were satisfied with each other，the“betrothal gifts”might be given．
C．Give Betrothal Gifts
It was the object matter of engagement to give betrothal gifts．The matchmaker wrote out the betrothal card and negotiated with the bride's family to decide the items．Then the bridegroom's side gave the betrothal gifts according to the betrothal card in three times．The betrothal gifts consisted of gift list，gifts and monetary gifts．The gift list was the most important because it was the attestation of a formal betrothal．After giving the betrothal gifts，the wedding day could be decided．
2)Preparation for Wedding
A．Installation of Bridal Bed
Preparation on the part of the groom involved the installation of the bridal bed on the day before the wedding．At a propitious hour on a selected day before the wedding day，a“good luck man”and a“good luck woman”，that is a man and woman with many children of both sexes，were selected to install a newly purchased bed．The“good luck man”would help to install the bridal bed in the correct place in the bridal chamber．The installation ceremony consisted of merely moving the bed slightly．The actual work was done earlier by servants or friends．The“good luck woman”would come to arrange the bridal bed．Then nobody is allowed to touch the bed until the couple entered the bridal chamber after the wedding ceremony．
Children were then invited onto the bed to bless the couple with fertility—the more children，the merrier．For the same reason，the bed was scattered with red dates，lotus seeds，peanuts，pomegranates and other kinds of fresh or dried fruits．Part of the fun was watching the children scramble for the fruits．
B．Dowry
Usually the bride's dowry shall be sent to the bridegroom's family by the day before the wedding day．Apart from jewellery，embroidered beddings，kitchen utensils and furniture，the traditional dowry normally consisted of such symbolic items as scissors，a pair of pillows，shoes，clothes，chopsticks tied in red ribbon and bowls were musts in a traditional marriage．
3)Wedding Ceremony
A．Cry-of-Marriage
Before the bride left for the bridegroom's home，the“good luck woman”would lead her to the sedan chair．On her way to the chair，one of her sisters would shield her with a red parasol，while another sister would throw rice at the sedan chair．At the back of the sedan hung a sieve and a metallic mirror that were believed to protect the bride from evil．
Before she got on the bridal sedan chair bound for her new home，the bride had to cry to show that she did not want to leave her parents．She would cry over the love and care her parents had given her for so many years．At this moment，the bride's mother would pass on to her daughter the secrets of how to be an adequate wife and daughter-in-law，how to handle the household with thrift and decency as well as make herself pleasant to every one of the new family，etc．
B．Escorting Bride to Groom's House
It was the prelude of wedding ceremony to send a party for escorting the bride to the bridegroom's house．On the day before the wedding，the bridegroom was supposed to visit the bride's family and salute to all the family members of the bride but he couldn't meet the bride．On the day of wedding，the bridegroom should send an honor guard to the bride's house．On the way to the bridegroom's home，the honor guard would take the lead，followed by the bride's sedan．
After various rules of rites，the bride would be carried to the sedan chair by her father or elder brother with the bridegroom standing by．When everything was all right，the bridegroom could take leave．The bride was still unseen to the bridegroom at this time with a piece of red silk veil covering her head and face(see picture 11-1)． Usually a crowd of friends would escort the bridegroom and musicians would play joyful tunes during the entire trip．Dancing lions，if any，preceded the troop．In ancient times，a bridal sedan chair(or a decorated donkey due to poverty or bad traffic)would be used to transport the bride．
C．Performing Formal Bows
After the sedan reached the bridegroom's bridal chamber，an elder woman who had many offspring would support the hand of the bride and help her come out of the sedan chair in the wedding march．The woman would feed boiled rice dumplings to both bridegroom and bride because the round shape of the dumplings signify harmony and union．Then the candles and the incenses were lighted and the bridegroom and the bride held the two ends of a red ribbon respectively and met on the red carpet．They would bow to each other and then drink from the nuptial cups．Now came the climax of the wedding ceremony．The bride and bridegroom were led to the family altar，where the couple kowtowed to Heaven and Earth，the family ancestors and parents successively．They then bowed to each other and were led to the bridal chamber．The ceremony proceeded under a director's prompts and applauses of the audience．
D．Teasing Games in the Bridal Chamber
The teasing games started when the newly wed couple entered their bridal chamber after the wedding ceremony．Usually all young men could participate except for the bride's brothers-in-laws．The funny and silly games help ease the tension，since in ancient times the newlyweds never met each other before the wedding！The teasing games varied with regions．
E．Bridal Chamber
By the evening of the wedding day or，failing that，the next day，the bride should salute the uncles-and aunts-in-law．Then she would be led by the younger aunt or other female elder to salute all the elders．Next evening the new couple might have their supper(known as“Bridal Chamber Supper”)together in their bridal chamber for the first time．On the third day，the bride and the bridegroom would salute the memorial tablets of ancestors，which meant to show that marriage was not only for the bridegroom，but more importantly，for continuing the ancestral life．
F．Bride's Return to Parents'Home
Traditionally，the newlyweds were to return to visit the bride's parents three days after the wedding．It is an indispensable etiquette．A month after the wedding the bride would visit her parents'home again accompanied by her husband bringing many kinds of gifts．The bridegroom went home on the same day after the escort mission，leaving his wife staying at her parents'home for several days．
2.Related Knowledge about Ancient Marriage Customs
1)Three Letters and Six Etiquettes
A．Three Letters
Betrothal Letter:This was the formal document of the engagement，a must for a marriage．
Gift Letter:This would be given to the identified girl's family．Within the letter would be a list of the types and quantity of gifts designated for the wedding once both parties accepted the marriage．
Wedding Letter:The Wedding Letter was prepared and presented to the bride's family on the day of the wedding and was a document that confirmed and commemorated the formal acceptance of the bride into the bridegroom's family．
B．Six Etiquettes
Proposing:If an unmarried boy's parents identified a girl as their potential future daughter-in-law，they would then locate a matchmaker．Proposals were the specialty of the matchmakers．The matchmaker would formally present his or her client's request to the identified girl's parents．
Birthday matching:If the potential bride's parents did not object to the marriage，the matchmaker would then ask for the girl's birthday and birth-hour to assure the compatibility of the potential bride and bridegroom．If the couple's birthdays and birth-hours did not conflict according to astrology，the marriage would continue onto the next stage．If there was any sign of astrological conflict，which meant the marriage would bring disasters upon both families，the proposed marriage was immediately quashed．
Presenting betrothal gifts:Once both birthdays matched，the bridegroom's family would then arrange for the matchmaker to present betrothal gifts and the betrothal letter to the bride's family．
Presenting wedding gifts:After the betrothal letter and betrothal gifts were accepted，the bridegroom's family would later formally send wedding gifts to the bride's family．Usually，gifts may include money and food．
Picking a wedding date:An astrologer would be consulted by the bridegroom's family in order to help select an auspicious date for the holding of the wedding ceremony．
Wedding ceremony:On the selected day，the bridegroom departed with a troop of escorts and musicians，playing cheerful music all the way to the bride's home．After the bride was escorted to the bridegroom's home，the wedding ceremony began．
2)Ningbo Bridal Sedan Chairs
Bridal Sedan Chair(see picture 11-2)is also called Wan Gong Jiao，famous for its delicate technique．The bridal sedan chair in the picture has a height of 3 meters，a length of 1．5 meters，and a width of 95 centimeters．It has delicate wood-carving and splendid golden decoration，which reveals its golden elegance to people who see it．
According to the legend，in Southern Song Dynasty，Zhao Gou，Song Gaozong，was once in danger as he was chased after by the Jin soldiers．Fortunately，he was saved by a local girl．The emperor decided to see her and pick her up to the court．But their meeting signals were revealed．Then the emperor ordered that all the girls in the east of Zhejiang province be queens．When they got married，they could dress themselves in queen's phoenix decorations and could sit in the bridal sedan chairs．When officials met them，they had to get off their chairs or horses．Therefore，since the Southern Song Dynasty，the custom of Ningbo girls sitting in bridal sedan chairs on their marriage was getting more and more popular，and the technique of making the bridal sedan chairs was also getting more and more delicate．One might often hear a married woman say proudly，“I'm carried here by the bridal sedan chair on the wedding day”．
3)Red—Color for the Wedding
Unlike Western tradition，the color red dominates traditional Chinese weddings．Chinese people tend to use or wear red to add a joyful atmosphere to such a festive occasion．
At dawn on the wedding day，the bride would put on new clothes and a pair of red shoes after bath and waited for the so-called“good luck woman”to dress her hair in the style of a married woman．Her head would be covered with a red silk veil with tassels．She waited for her future husband to escort her home，with married women talking around her about how to be a good wife．
On the other hand，the bridegroom was preparing himself to receive his wife．He was dressed in a long gown，red shoes and a red silk sash with a silk ball on his chest．The groom knelt at the ancestral altar as his father would declare his adulthood and his family responsibility．
Then the bridegroom set out to receive his bride．The most interesting part of the reception really took place at the doorstep of the bride's residence，which was heavily guarded by the bridesmaid or the bride's sisters．It was customary for the bridesmaid to give the bridegroom a difficult time before he was allowed to enter．Usually wisdom，courage and his friends could help the bridegroom to succeed in his“trial”．However，there was one more situation he had to negotiate with the bridesmaid and sisters of the bride—to distribute among them red packets containing money—in order to take his bride home．
Word Bank
betrothal订婚，许婚
go-between中间人，媒人
buffer缓冲物
matchmaker媒人，红娘
consensual双方同意的
fortune-teller算命先生，星象术士
discreet谨慎的，审慎的
attestation证明，证据
propitious吉祥的，顺利的
dowry嫁妆
sedan轿车，轿子
parasol阳伞
nuptial婚礼的，婚姻的
altar祭坛
tablets碑，匾额
quash废止，撤销
sash肩带，腰带
参考译文
中国婚姻风俗始于战国时期。由于中国幅员辽阔，各地结婚的程序及仪式虽基本相似，却又不尽相同。传统的婚俗烦琐复杂，早已随着封建社会的消亡而不再流行。然而传统的婚礼在农村仍时有所见，特别是近来，传统的婚俗似乎在复苏，正吸引着许多准备结婚的年轻人。
1.结婚程序
往昔的婚姻是包办婚姻，以“父母之命，媒妁之言”为定。尤其是妇女，“嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗”，以夫为纲，婚后更受公婆管束。旧式婚姻通常包括以下几个步骤。
1)订婚
订婚是传统婚姻中一项必不可缺的手续。订婚始于提亲，在提亲和订婚过程中，男女双方父母扮演主要角色，而非当事人自己。婚姻被看作是人生头等大事，不能让年轻人自己草率决定。媒人则似双方之间的一个缓冲物，其功能正如现今的房产代理商。
A．说合
“说合”即在订婚前，媒人往来于双方家长之间沟通情况，主要是了解双方门户是否相当，家庭财产情况如何，其次是家庭成员情况，然后才是当事人的相貌、年龄、性情等。男方多要求女方是书香门第，女方则要求男方家境殷实。如果双方家长认为合意，才可以继续进行下一步。
B．合婚
所谓“合婚”，即将男女双方生辰八字由媒人送算命先生处推算吉凶，再由媒人通报双方家长。有的家长为郑重起见，还要在合婚得吉之后约定地点互看人选。双方认为满意，便可办理“行聘”之礼了。
C．行聘
行聘是订婚的主要内容，由媒人开彩帖与女方家商议，议定目录，然后由男家正式行聘。行聘还需分三次进行。聘礼有礼帖、礼物和礼金三部分，其中最重要的是礼帖，因为它是正式婚约的证据。聘礼行过，然后才可以选定婚期迎娶。
2)备婚
A．安床
新郎需要在婚礼前一天准备好婚床。之前要择定良辰吉日，请一位“好命佬”和“好命婆”(即父母健在、子孙满堂、婚姻和睦的男子和女子)帮忙准备婚床。“好命佬”将新床搬至新房适当位置。安床仪式实际上只是象征性地移动一下已经让仆人或朋友放置好的床。床安置好之后，由“好命婆”负责铺床，将床褥、床单及龙凤被等铺在床上。安床后任何人不得进入新房及触碰新床，直至新人于婚礼当晚进房为止。
新人进新房后会让小孩爬到床上，俗称“压床”，取其百子千孙之意，孩子越多越好。床上撒着各式喜果，如红枣、莲子、花生、石榴等水果或干果。看孩子们抢食喜果也是颇有乐趣的。
B．嫁妆
女方家的嫁妆须最迟于结婚前一天送到男方家。嫁妆除珍贵的珠宝首饰、绣花的床上用品、厨房用品和家具以外，主要是一些象征好兆头的东西，如:剪刀、一对枕头、鞋、衣服以及两双用红绳捆着的筷子及碗等。
3)婚礼
A．哭嫁
新娘离开家之前，“好命婆”将她引上花轿，上轿前，由大姐或伴娘撑着红伞护着新娘，另一个姐妹将米撒向花轿。轿子后面挂着一面筛子和一面金属制的镜子用来为新娘除恶避邪。
姑娘出嫁，上轿前在娘家必哭一场，以示对父母家人的依恋。哭后，做娘的便要对女儿传授女儿经，如何为妻为媳，如何勤俭持家，如何待人接物等，一一指点。
B．迎娶
迎娶为结婚大典之前奏。迎娶前一日，新郎须至女方家会亲，然只能谒见新娘的父母，并与女方亲友一一行相见礼，但不能与新娘相见。迎娶当日，新郎须亲自迎亲，以鼓乐仪仗为先行、新娘之彩轿随行。
彩轿到达女方家后，经过一系列仪式，新娘由父兄抱入彩轿，俗称“抱轿”。新郎侍立在侧，挽新娘登轿后，便“请轿”辞行。此时，新娘顶着红盖头(见图11-1)，与新郎仍未会面。花轿在迎归男方家的路上，前呼后拥，好不气派。有时在前面开道的是舞狮队。古时姑娘出嫁时，根据女方家境贫富，或骑毛驴或坐花轿。
C．拜堂
新娘所乘彩轿到男方家时，彩轿入门，鼓乐并奏。一位多子多孙的妇人，把新娘扶出轿来，先喂汤圆给新郎新娘吃，以取和气团圆之意，然后拜堂。堂前明烛点香，新郎新娘各牵着红缘巾的一端，在红地毯上相会，然后行交拜礼，饮交杯酒。接下来是婚礼的高潮，新人被带到祖宗牌位前，一拜天地，二拜高堂，然后夫妻对拜，最后新人被送入洞房。婚礼进行过程中，由司仪说颂词，亲朋好友在一旁喝彩。
D．闹房
结婚仪式告成，新婚夫妇同入洞房，亲朋好友开始闹房。一般说来，除了新娘的姐夫，年轻人都可以参加闹洞房。闹房可以缓解新婚夫妇对彼此的紧张感觉。因为在过去，很多新人婚前互相并不熟悉甚至不相识。各地的“闹房”有不同的方式。
E．洞房花烛夜
结婚当夜或第二天，新娘拜见叔姑。姑姑引导新妇向尊长们一一见礼，如果没有姑姑则由族中的女尊长为引导。第二天晚上，新夫妇可以在新房中第一次同桌饮食，俗称“洞房夜饭”。婚后第三天，行庙见礼，以示男子娶亲不专为个人，也是为家族的繁衍。
F．回娘家
按照中国婚俗习惯，结婚三天后，新娘便要偕同新郎一起回娘家，也称“回门”。这是必不可少的礼节。新娘出嫁满月后要再次回娘家，女婿准备多种礼物陪同前去，以示孝敬。当日，女婿返回，新娘则在娘家小住几日。
2.古代婚俗相关知识
1)三书六礼
A．三书
聘书:定亲之书，男女双方正式缔结婚约。婚约必备之物。
礼书:过礼之书，即礼物清单，详尽列明礼物种类及数量。
迎亲书:迎娶新娘之书。结婚当日接新娘过门时用，是男方家接受新娘的证明和纪念之书。
B．六礼
纳采:男方父母属意女方时，延请媒人做媒，谓之纳采，今称“提亲”。
问名:男方探问女方之姓名及生日时辰，以卜吉兆，谓之问名，今称“合八字”。
纳吉:问名若属吉兆，遣媒人致赠薄礼及聘书，谓之纳吉，今称“过文定”或“小定”。
纳征:奉送礼金与礼物等，即正式送聘礼，谓纳征，今称“过大礼”。
请期:由男家请算命先生择日，谓之请期，又称“乞日”，今称“择日”。
亲迎:新郎乘礼车，赴女家迎接新娘，谓之亲迎。
2)宁波花轿
宁波花轿(见图11-2)又称“万工轿”，以其做工精细而著称。图中的花轿高3米、长1．5米、宽95厘米，木质透雕，漆朱贴金，给人金碧辉煌之感。
传说南宋高宗赵构被金兵追杀，幸得一位宁波村姑相救。赵构脱险后，约好来年接村姑入宫，但两人所约暗号泄露，于是赵构下旨浙东女子皆封后，出嫁时可穿戴凤冠霞帔，乘坐龙凤花轿，官员遇见，文官下轿，武官下马。于是从南宋开始，宁波姑娘出嫁坐花轿的民风愈来愈盛，花轿制作也愈来愈考究。“我是花轿抬来的”这句话自然成为往日媳妇们的豪语。
3)红色——婚礼的颜色
与西方传统不同的是，红色是中国传统婚礼的主导色。中国人喜欢用红色来为这个喜庆的日子增添欢快的气氛。
婚礼当日的清晨，新娘在沐浴后穿上新嫁衣，红色绣鞋，等待“好命婆”为她梳妇人头。新娘的头上要披上带有流苏的红色真丝盖头，然后静静地等待新郎把她娶回家。此时，一些已婚妇女会教她到了婆家如何做一个好媳妇。
新郎那边正准备着迎娶新娘，他身穿长衫，脚着红鞋，肩披红带。新郎跪拜于先辈的灵位前，其父宣布儿子独立成人和他即将担负的家庭责任。
接着新郎出门迎接新娘。迎娶时最有趣的是在新娘的家门前，门口由伴娘或新娘的姐妹们严把紧守。伴娘往往会刁难新郎，不让他轻易进门。新郎要过这道关，需要智慧、勇气以及小兄弟们的帮助。此外，还要给她们发红包，否则休想接得佳人归。
Exercises
Section A Thought-provoking questions
1．Why is red the favorite color of bride in old China？What about in China today？
2．What is the significance of wedding traditions？
3．What kind of wedding ceremony would you choose？Why？
Section B Cloze
At a traditional Chinese wedding，the bride is often seen with a red veil on her head．It covers the bride's face．Chinese people call the veil，made of a laced silk square，red head cover．
This practice dates 1 to the Qi Period of the Northern and Southern dynasties．The head cover was used by women farmers to protect their heads against cold wind or hot sunshine while working in the fields．It could be a cloth of any color and was big enough to cover the head top．For its practical use and ornamental function，the head cover became a widespread custom．
By the beginning of Tang Dynasty，the cover had become a long veil down to the shoulder．And it was no longer a 2 of working women．Later，Emperor Li Longji made a decision．He demanded that all maids-in- 3 in the palace add a piece of gauze to the head covers to cover their faces．It soon became a fashion among the commons．But the commons made a difference of the cover's function．In those days，women's faces were thought of as a lure to men．A husband did not want his beautiful wife to be an attraction to men．He wanted her to behave bashfully and look too shy to see men．A veil could realize his 4 ．And the wife readily accepted the veil to show her 5 to her husband．Gradually the veils became popular among both married and unmarried women who were eager to demonstrate their virtues．Veils are not unique in China．Even today veils can still be seen in some other places in the world．