6.3.4 Catherine:Past Struggling Self, Problem-Solv...
Catherine’s biographical background
Catherine was born and raised in a large city in southern China.She is the only child of an intellectual family, with her father working in the local government and mother teaching Chinese Literature in a local university.When she was little, her parents encouraged her to read Chinese and foreign literary works and supervised her weekly academic writing.Inspired by her family’s long interest in language and literature, Catherine chose to study at UNNC.The decision was fully supported by her parents.Catherine explained:‘I usually make my own decisions, and my parents rarely say no or don’t.For example, I myself chose this university, this course and my future goals… Because I always balance both positive and negative sides of things before I make a decision.Once I make the decision, I myself will be responsible for it.I don’t like to give up a decision when it is executed under the way’ (Free chat 1, 2014).
Catherine was pretty confident in but not satisfied with her academic achievements.The confidence was gained from her positive learning strategies:‘I prefer to arrange my study schedule reasonably; otherwise, it is difficult to manage so many readings and essay writings at one time’ (First round of interview, 2014).However, she didn’t view herself as a successful learner, because she was ‘making academic learning progress...has not reached the higher academic learning expectation’.Catherine is a pretty easy-going person, actively participating in the contextual activities and believing that there are many things she can learn from her lecturers and fellow classmates.
Catherine’s attitudinal orientation to the field
In recalling past learning events， Catherine focuses largely on the struggling experience of learning writing essay and the changed attitudes to essay writing.She opens up the preliminary stage of Past by recalling essay writing impresses her the ‘most deep’ （最深的）， and ‘very difficult’ （费神的）.
In the extract below， ‘particularly’ （尤其） signals that a detailed description of relevant events is recorded， focusing on the dilemma of learning essay writing.Time and process are concerned while the series of learning events is unfolded， along with Catherine’s resolution to deal with the difficult learning situations and explicit attitudinal evaluation.The first group essay writing event happened in the first semester of foundation year is appreciated as impressing her ‘most deep’ （最深的）， and she consciously gains a valued understanding from this experience of essay writing that ‘my own idea is most important’ （自己的想法是最重要的）.Her strong feeling towards the experience is intensified by two uses of ‘most’ （最） here.And the continuous essay writing makes her ‘find’ （发现） another valued content in the practice in the second semester， that is， searching reading materials for essays and revising essays.She positively appreciates these two events as ‘really important’ （真正重要的） and ‘essential’ （必不可少的）.
But when she enters the second year—a qualified year， she is faced with a ‘new dilemma’ （新的矛盾） in distinguishing between the different writing requirements of the previous CELE teachers and the current module lecturers.In order to improve her writing skill， she used in ‘discussing’ （讨论） with the language teachers in CELE and ‘seek for lecturing teacher suggestion’ （寻求着授课老师的建议）.Learning from this experience， she generates her own understanding of how to write a ‘good essay’ （好论文）， including constant communication with teachers， independent exploration of writing ideas and content， and appropriate understanding of module teachers’ teaching aims.Following this appreciation， she turns to the phenomenon of ‘culture and language difference’ （文化和语言的差异性） between the non-Chinese teachers and the students that she may have experienced before， which is signaled by adversative ‘but’ （但）.In the next stage， although ‘indeed’ （确实） is appraised with proclaim by committing her alignment with CELE teachers’ teaching， the following counter-expectance ‘but’ （但） negatively evaluates the teaching results.
At the final Present and Future stage， rather than making general Judgement on teaching and learning， Catherine focuses on the expected events in the near future.When expressing the specific ‘hope’ （希望） for the teachers’ explicit explanation on ‘this module essay requirement’， she positively appreciates high English ability which she proclaims ‘actually’ （其实）， ‘especially important’ （重要的） for IC students like her.
Catherine’s proximity of disciplinary selves in the field of discipline
There is a developmental proximity between Catherine’s past struggling self, positive present problem-solving self, and future desired self, as a positive connection between her learning needs, desires and actions is found in the recount.By focusing on the experience of essay writing, she records a series of dilemma events in the past.But in the meantime, she provides concrete examples of how she successfully deals with those difficult learning situations, which are appraised with positive Appreciation and intensified Graduation.In her case, the active problem-solving action spurs the positive present self, which brings positive consequence of considering a desired future self.On the other hand, her conscious recognition and acceptance of the local values denote that She aligns herself with the disciplinary convention in the context.Note that both Catherine and the above-mentioned narrator Matthew from the second year record their awareness and changed positive attitudes towards similar things such as essay writing and self-learning.