Tactic Two – Education
Educate the disputant(s) with traditions, norms, cultural values,the law, etc.Chinese mediators are famous for “lecturing”,“preaching”or “educating”the disputants.In some situations,the mediator would go out of their way to “coach”or to “warn”the disputants.
Because of their positions in society, Chinese mediators are usually required to be the implementers of the community norms and the law.They usually consider it their responsibility to inform and educate the disputants in the mediation so that they would be aware of the law and the regulations concerned, and won’t make the similar mistake or involve themselves in the same kind of troubles in the future.Of course, by educating the disputants, the mediator’s other purposes are to persuade the disputant(s) to accept certain agenda, to placate the hostility between disputants, and to prepare the disputants for a fruitful mediation.
In the following excerpt from the case of Work Injury Dispute,the mediator tries to talk to the twenty-year old plaintiff, who was injured while joking around with a co-worker in the restaurant where he works.The underlined sentences are an example of the mediator’s attempt to educate the plaintiff.
(M – the mediator; P – the Plaintiff)
P: As for nutrition fee, my health was originally poor,before this incident happened (I weighed) 110, and now it is 100 jin.Until now, I am still 100 jin.
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M: We can understand (that) you have been in this(situation).We can understand, can understand.
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M: (It) can serve as a lesson, understand? Whatever you do from now on, you must… think it over, you are young,understand? Being abused once, grow wisdom once.From now on, from now on, be careful and cautious in your life.
The education tactic is usually used by an elder mediator to a younger disputant.In Chinese culture, age is a major factor in deciding who has more power and who initiate the turns to talk.Therefore, it is quite acceptable for an elder person to educate or even scold a young person who is or is not related to him/her.This rule can be observed throughout this mediation.The mediator does not use this tactic with other disputants of her age or older age, but uses it solely with the plaintiff and the defendant who are both in their twenties.“Being abused once, grow wisdom once”is an old saying that the mediator is using to educate the young plaintiff to treat the incident as a lesson and to put it behind.Besides the education purpose, the mediator is also trying to claim authority so that to make the young disputants accept the mediator’s proposal to resolve the conflict.
The following excerpt is from a divorce mediation session.The mediator starts the mediation by using the Chinese old saying“one would rather tear down ten temples than break up one marriage”to educate both parties to give their marriage a chance.She points out that the husband should take the initiative in the process of making up, which is the norm in Chinese romantic relationship.
“…‘One would rather tear down ten temples than break up one marriage’.It means that as long as two people can get married, it is destiny, right? This kind of destiny, if only cherished by one side, it doesn’t work.It must be cherished by both.And the man plays a major role, heh heh, right? And the man is more important.About many things, the man,when it’s necessary, should take the initiative, right? So, be soft when you need to.Don’t think that because you are a man,you can often lose your temper.Otherwise, your relationship will…hard to be in harmony...”
This educational speech given at the beginning of the mediation is to instigate both parties to make efforts, especially the husband, to save their marriage instead of breaking it up.It is intended to serve as a guideline for the whole mediation.It is also a way for the mediator to assert power of age over disputants.
In the same mediation, the mediator educates the couples on tolerance and thinking off other people in the family — typical Chinese virtues.She also uses the old saying “marry a rooster,follow the rooster, and marry a dog, follow the dog”to try to argue that a woman is better off staying in her marriage and accepting the husband as he is.This is a traditional Chinese saying from the feudalist society when a woman had the base position in a family and divorce was a humiliation to her.
“…Nobody is perfect, right? So, since you have become a family, you should be tolerant to…each other.Be tolerant of what? Not only be aware of his or her merits, but also live with his or her weakness.Uh, only in this way can you two get along.And, about being tolerant, it needs a certain degree of,of ability to control yourself — which is the key point, right?A certain degree of self-control is very important…Our older generation used to say that, I am not sure if it is suitable to mention it here, but I feel, if I mention it here, it doesn’t matter.The old saying goes like this: “Marry a rooster, then follow a rooster, and marry a dog, then follow a dog.”— It was not necessarily a no-good thing, right, not necessarily a no-good thing.And there is another old saying goes like:
“Take a step back and a boundless world appears before you;take a step forward, bottomless pit.”Well, many issues, we should take one step back when it needs to.And, so, speak of marriage, just stay calm…”
“Take a step back and a boundless world appears before you;take a step forward, bottomless pit”is used to educate both parties to compromise and not to make any risky advances, in this case, divorcing.The length of this conversational turn is another way for the mediator to assert power in the situation.The length of a person’s turn can signify the position of a speaker in terms of power and their influence (NG & Bradac,1993).We can see that the mediator often makes long speeches to educate the disputants without interruption from the disputants, thus he/she has more power to influence the outcome of the mediation and to implement his/her plan/agenda.Again, the disputants could rarely initiate turns with the mediator, but only with each other, which ensures that the mediator has the floor in every topic discussed.
Sometimes, the education is an attempt to persuade a disputant to take on a different perspective instead of staying in his/her old one, so that the dispute could be resolved.In the following excerpt from an engagement dispute, the mediator educates the man to be more tolerant and to be more generous.She uses traditional view about males to call him a “Man”.She also asks him to consider what other people may think about him if he was too calculating on this issue.
“…Today, you are on the same road.Both make some compromise; make some compromise, especially Zhang Qiang.You should not think that because the female side doesn’t want to marry you, you can carry some anger with you.If you come to solve this problem in an angry mood, you will… You should be more tolerant and be a man, anyways… You are relatively educated, your family condition is good, and you are very clever.You can find a nice girlfriend other than He Ying.Don’t care too much about this issue to cause some bad influence so that everybody would know about it and stay away from you.You should be a little tolerant, converge onto the same road, OK? Converge onto the same road.”
This excerpt also illustrates the mediator’s attempt to cast roles on the disputant.The role is an educated man.The reason why it is categorized as a tactic of education is because the mediator is more explicit about the norms of being a man in Chinese society.In other words, she spends more time describing the connotation of the role — this is your role and you should act in this way.Everything is clear cut and there is no room for negotiation of roles and its connotations.This tactic reflects a more powerful approach adopted by usually more powerful Chinese mediators compared with altercasting.The mediator warns the male disputant not to make a big deal out of this conflict; otherwise, he may not be able to find a girlfriend in the future.In this way, she is trying to persuade him to be more tolerant.
Educating young people with concepts and connotations of family involve keeping harmonious relationships with people,especially with the family members, and the family law can be observed from the following excerpts from the case of offspring support of parents.In this dispute, the first son refuses to take care of or pay the medical fee for his father.Two officials, two persons from a law office and a mediator are mediating the dispute, trying to resolve it before the father brings the lawsuit against his son.The head of the village made the following speech:
“On some stuff, as one family, the relationships cannot be eliminated.You will always have these parents.Under such circumstances, many things need to be forgiven by all.Of course, this issue of supporting parents, the offspring support of parents is mandatory according to the law.On the one hand,parents should take on the responsibility of supporting their children.On the other hand, as children, when parents have lost the ability of laboring to live or are without income for life, they have the obligation to support the elders.It is the law and it is stipulated as such, so I will say no more.If you,Deng Xingguo refuses to support the two elders, and if you have to go to the court, (you will) lose for sure.This is without doubt.If the judging institutions rule, then they will execute through the law, unlike us here, as we are trying to persuade you while we can still do that.Yeah, they are not supposed to reason with you.Then, at that time, you will go through such procedures as execution, judgment, etc.After the judgment comes the execution.After the judgment, you could be sentenced to two or three years’ (imprisonment).Therefore, we wish you the best in everything, best in everything.Here, we are talking about something related to the law.Of course, you should read about this carefully.”
Through this rather “intensive”and lengthy educational speech, the head of the village who also serves as a mediator tries to “urge”the first son to settle the dispute within the mediation and not to bring it to the court.He points out that, on the one hand, the father-son relationship will never disappear and they will always be one family.The role of family member is to take care and to tolerate each other.On the other hand, the law stipulates that adult sons and daughters should support their aged parents.He warns the first son that he would lose if the case was brought to the court, and that the court will force him to execute the obligation of supporting parents.Note that this warning is made by the head of the village, a person who has both positional power and credentials from age.Therefore, his words have authenticity and his knowledge about the tradition and the law needs to be respected.In the following excerpt from the same case, another official lectures the first son on relationships within a family and the Chinese traditions and virtues of supporting parents.
“From what you said, I find that the main problem lies in your this family issue, such relationships as between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, between father and son.From what you have just said, what you have said is all others’ weaknesses, others’ shortcomings, not your own problems, including the two elders and the daughter-in-law.You talk about your own shortcomings, he talks about his shortcomings.Nobody has ever put this relationship… As the family head, just as being a branch secretary, and it is a household.You are the head of a family; therefore when there is conflict arising in this family, any conflict, you should stand out and mediate for them.Now, the condition in your family has risen up to such a serious extent.It is very close to going to the court.Then in this situation, if you still focus on airing your own views, it is harmful to your family’s solidarity… harmful to the solidarity.Actually, from the angle of morality in our country, as sons and daughters, the family rules need to reflect the morality.Running the country with morality, why should we run our country with morality? The reason is that it’s the tradition of our Chinese people.
The official and the host continue educating the first son for quite a long time (about 30 minutes) talking about the law, the tradition, the humanity, the morality and other people’s experience.In the excerpt above, the official emphasizes the importance of the relationship between brothers, sisters, a couple, father and son, mother and daughter in law, and within the family in general.His speech reflects the Confucius’ ideals governing human relationships, as well as the importance of maintaining harmony among people.At the end, the mediator justifies his position/argument by saying “it is the tradition of our Chinese people.”Seeking authority from the tradition is a commonly used technique in Chinese discourse.The idea that what is practiced in the tradition should be practiced now is assumed with no need of proof in Chinese culture.
Warning is a stronger version of education as demonstrated in the excerpts quoted above.To warn a person is to inform them of possible bad outcomes if they behave certain ways or are planning to act in certain ways, such as planning to seek the judicial way of resolving the dispute, and not being able to let go of the grudge from the past.Using negative examples (argument from example)to warn the disputant(s) of possible bad outcomes if they don’t agree to certain agenda, is another common educational technique.In the following excerpt from the case of offspring support of parents, one of the officials uses this technique to persuade by describing an incident occurred in another village.
“A teacher in Dongxiang Village didn’t support his parents and even maltreated them.At last, the court judged him and announced their decision in his school.All the students in the school were gathered.This is a teacher.Being a teacher model, educating the kids… Thus the teacher was put out, lost his job and a living place.What for? Some things are like this… Viewing it from being a teacher, as parents, (you)should try your best to clear the communication channels between brothers, between sisters, between parents as well as between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.Never make any more trouble in between.I think that these ideas are known to everybody here.And we often deal with these cases involving family problems.”
The warning is more direct in the following speech made by one of the mediators.Sentences featuring “if”and “even if”structure are adopted.The illocutionary effect in the speech act is warning:(https://www.daowen.com)
“… If you do not carry out the obligation of supporting your parents, no matter what you say, it won’t work.Not only the society will despise and desert you, but the court will criticize you.The lawsuit is not worthwhile of trying.I can tell you that it’s not worthwhile.Even if I hired 7 or 8 senior lawyers for you, you would not be able to win.The only way is to build a good relationship between you and your parents…”
There are no linguistic features that mark powerless speech in the excerpt above.Powerless speeches usually bear features such as hedges, polite forms, tag questions and hesitations, while powerful speeches are usually default of these styles (NG &Bradac, 1993).If we assume there are only powerful and powerless speech styles, then this is a powerful speech because we cannot identify any features marking powerless speech, but the sentences contain conditional adverbial clauses.The last sentence starting with “the only way”is a strong statement, asserting as true that there is no other way but support one’s parents.
In a court divorce mediation, the judge who serves as the mediator starts educating the couple on mutual tolerance and family relationships.He also adopted popular old sayings to support his points as underlined here.
“…Every family has a book of (Buddhist) scripts that is hard to read.There is no perfect person in this world.Anybody has defect.The key is how to deal with it.When the family problem is resolved well, big issues will become small ones and small ones will diminish.If (you are) too serious, small issues will become big issues and no issue becomes some issues.In a word, (you) should know how to think and mutually forgive and tolerate… To look for a person you love is easy, while to look for a person who loves you truly is hard…”
This mediation occurred in the middle of the trial after the facts were heard by the court.The judge ostensibly switched to be the mediator and the mediation started right in the court.This kind of intermediation within the trial is semi-formal and it is procedural for divorce mediation.Because, the judge knows about the judgment and the relevant law, he is the absolute authority in the mediation.The reasons why the judge does not proceed to judgment directly, maybe that for cases such as divorces,mediation agreement is less face threatening and hurtful than trial judgment, and usually the judge could persuade the parties to reach certain agreement without forcing the judgment on them.Thus it is both face-saving and good for the record.“Reading Buddhist script”is often used as a metaphor to describe dealing with family problems.This is another example of using old sayings and norms to educate disputants and to gain persuasive power.
Sometimes, mediators coach the disputant(s) on what they should do to solve the conflict.This kind of tactic is likely to be used by an authoritative figure, especially when they are older,hold higher positions and have perceived competence.In a pre-trial divorce mediation, the female mediator in her fifties coaches the husband on how to win his wife back since he does not want a divorce.
“…No, no, just an exchange of hearts, and it doesn’t matter whether you are eloquent or not.Having a sincere heart or not, from what you say, (we) can tell whether you are sincere or not.If you want to be together, you should be sincere.You see, you… who doesn’t want a sound family? You are like this.Look what you did, you only keep saying no divorce, no divorce, but what you have really done in reality? You are inconsistent.It appears different.”She scolds the husband in the following conversation:
(M-the mediator; H-the husband)
M: You let others exploit the loophole.Do you get it?
H: What are called the eggs laid by the pheasant? The eggs are laid for others.
M: How can you say such things…?
H: What’s wrong with my words?
M: Not appropriate…not appropriate.
H: I am telling the truth, the truth.
M: Not appropriate, you know? Not appropriate.So, just because there was this loophole, others could break through; break through at this weak point.
The mediator tries to get the husband to take on a different perspective.She forbids the husband from making vulgar and bitter comment.It is a way to correct his way of thinking.She blames the husband of not having cared enough about the wife and putting the entire fault on the wife.She suggests that he should be more persistent to win the wife back.In this caucusing session,the mediator becomes a marriage counselor in that she tries to ask the husband to change his way of thinking, to care more about the wife and to take more initiative.In this way, the experienced divorce mediator is trying to resume the marriage to its normal state and make it function again.
H: Even you can keep her in person, you can’t keep her heart.The… the… the… there are some things not so easy.
M: You tell me this, I am actually, I actually agree.
H: If she really wants to…, OK.
M: OK.Well, that you, you don’t want a divorce, right? Then we try to help the one who want to keep the marriage.Try to save the marriage.By saving, I mean we notify you.The way we notify you is that, firstly, you should take the initiative.You care more about her.Let her feel the warmth of home.Let her feel the warmth of family.Thus,she will change.She will gradually come to your way,right? That, for example, about one night stand, or other things, she might not do that again.This one is best for her, then she come to this side, right? That one is best for her, and then she will go to that side.
H: Aha ha.That is her innate nature.After we started fighting, some of her affairs, somebody told me.Before we fight, nobody told me about that.Then I got to know,even before our wedding, she had been indiscreet in her behavior.
M: That because now you are at odds, people start to talk,bad things come out.You only listen to the gossips.That’s why you messed it up, you know?
H: There won’t be waves without the wind.
M: There won’t be waves without the wind.But sometimes it’s not true.Sometimes, your awareness, your intuition,your conclusion, they have limitations, right? You know they have limitations.You’re leaving yourself to be controlled by others.You’re leaving yourself to be led by others.Won’t you like to keep the family?
H: I didn’t let others control me.
…
In the conversation excerpt above, the mediator gives instruction to the husband on how to get a “no divorce”ruling in the court while she works to support the husband’s position of “no divorce,”by encouraging, blaming and advising.Why does she do that, when in another caucusing session with the wife, she did not do the same coaching but actually asks for more opportunity and tolerance to be given to the husband? It is because she found inconsistencies and discrepancies between the husbands’ actions and his words.On the one hand, he insists that he would not have a divorce.On the other hand, he cannot tolerate the wife’s infidelity.The mediator sees the contradiction and tries to help him make a decision, that is, no divorce.Note that when the husband hesitates and almost becomes double minded on his decision, the mediator reminds him by saying “OK.Well, that you,you don’t want a divorce, right? Then we try to help the one who wants to keep the marriage…”She then coaches the husband to align his actions and thoughts to “his”decision and to realize“his”goal of no divorce.This tactic is, by no means, an attempt to achieve neutrality; rather, it is used to achieve the goal of maintaining stability in the marriage.Advising, coaching, blaming,criticizing are all techniques observed under the tactic of education discussed in this subsection.