Tactic One – Balancing
Try to balance or make it even for both parties to seek a “middle way”.
This tactic is used when the mediator finds that his/her one sidedness in a mediation causes an unexpected outcome (i.e.backfire) or a failure to have the disputants reach an agreement,or when the mediator predicts that this would happen.The Chinese culture values balance and harmony by taking the middle way in all social situations.The combination of Buddhist, Taoist and Confucius traditions emphasized the balance within human bodies and minds, among human relations, and between human beings and the nature.Therefore, maintaining balance in mediation is a concern for Chinese mediators.Compared with neutrality in western mediation which can be interpreted as non-intervention, unbiased stance or impartiality, balance in Chinese mediation has different connotation.The mediator is actively intervening into the decision of both disputants while trying to weigh pros and cons, explain strengths and weaknesses,rights and obligations, favorable and faulty behaviors and dispositions for both disputing parities.The successful mediator work to make both parties appear to be even so that neither party has the upper hand in the mediation in the end, and that all parties are satisfied with the decision of mediation.
This tactic can be observed in the case of woods dispute.After the mediator clarifies her stance in this mediation (on behalf of the township government) that the woods belong to the male villager, she speaks in favor of the female villager who chopped down some trees from the woods.
(M – the mediator; C – the female disputant; L – the male disputant)
M: …Now I’ll handle (the case) for you.Now it is best that the relationship of both of your families could be restored to harmony through the mediation.If the mediation fails or you still have some disagreements, the township cannot deal with it accordingly.Then the township thinks that, according to these opinions, the woods belong to Liu Qi.This patch of woods of Wang Qi,Chen Qiao’s going there to chop down a couple of trees was not deliberate.Because she was married here, and is not familiar with this patch of woods.She only knew that it is divided by the path.She did not steal with intention,or chop deliberately.To say “steal”is not appropriate or accurate.It is hurting people.The language is unpleasant to the ears.That’s why it led to fight.Then the trees have been chopped down.The pigsty also needs to be fixed after the disaster.It happened; it happened.If it happened, it is the issue of compensation…
The mediator asks both parties to accept the investigation results produced by the township government even though the female villager did not accept the judgment by the village government.However, M points out again that C did not intend to trespass L’s woods or steal his trees, because she was married into this village and is not familiar with the property boundaries.Neither can L call C’s behavior “stealing.”It is understandable that there was the quarrel because the language L uses makes C lose face.
The balance of the conflict dimension is reflected in M’s blaming of L’s rude language that makes C lose face, and finding excuse for C’s behavior to save her face.This should make clear that balancing is both a face saving and face threat avoidance tactic.Blaming is a direct face threatening act, especially in Chinese culture.Saying somebody’s behavior is not right is to have him/her lose face.Therefore, the balance of the lost face is important.The speaker will either find excuses for the person’s faulty behavior or put some blame on the person’s opponent.Compared with non-interventional strategies, the mediator tactically interfered with balance and the “middle way”on her mind.
L: Just chopped down several logs.If she hadn’t cut down those trees, they would be still be growing there.Even if you return them to me, they won’t grow back.
M: …This woods problem, our township government,according to the township’s accurate investigation, the woods indeed belong to Wang Qi’s family.This point, I don’t want to restate the reasons for it.Because of this,if you don’t agree, you can reserve your opinions.She just cut down several trees, and she had already chopped.The wood should belong to Wang Qi’s family.But Wang Qi,just said also, trees have already been chopped.The trees were going to grow up, but our purpose is to let everybody make up with each other and is for the harmony.Trees have indeed chopped, it is impossible to clarify the story of the hen and the egg.As for this, I think Qiaofang was not intentional, she also has certain reasons to chop down the trees.Maybe the reasons do not hold water, but she was not intentional…
M mentions that C might not accept the decision of the township government, but she has to reserve her own opinions in this mediation.Otherwise, she has to bring it to the court or appeal to the upper level officials.M also states that the purpose of this mediation is to get both parties to make up with each other again after they were in a physical fight with each other.Therefore, she hopes that L understands that C was not intentionally malicious (the third time).Both should look forward to the solution of the dispute — the compensation from C to L.Note that in the underlined sentences, M emphasizes that C has reasons or is not intentional in chopping down the trees to safe C’s face in the mediation.
M: This, Chen Qiao’s attitude just now, in my opinion, is reasonable.She isn’t unreasonable, but is very sincere.She was indeed not intentional, and there might have been some misunderstanding.That is to say, at that time it was indeed the path that is the division, and she was also not very clear.We can see that she is relatively sincere.As for the trees, they have already been chopped;Wang Qi should clarify your attitude.To compensate for these chopped logs, you want money.How to convert them into money.It is up to you both families to discuss about it.
M points out in the speech above that C’s attitude is sincere and again she was not intentional, and therefore, they should stop arguing with each other but focus on the practical aspect of the problem — the compensation from C to L.M’s purpose in pointing out the good points about C is to make L forgive what C has done and move on to the solution of the problem.It is an attempt to make sure that both parties are working towards the goal of solving the problem of restitution.
In the case of the engagement dispute, the mediator analyzes the situation from both parties’ perspectives.This helps both the male villager and the female villager understand the other party’s state of the mind so that they could meet each other in the middle.In so doing, the mediator is balancing the different dimensions of the conflict — nobody should be solely responsible for the breaking off the engagement.(https://www.daowen.com)
“…Probably, both of you have some anger.Yeah, both have anger, especially Zhang Qiang.He is wholehearted on this thing, and devoted much money and labor.They have been devoted.After dating each other for one year, he gets the result that He Ying wants to dissolute this relationship.(He)must have a lot of anger in his heart.So to speak, in terms of the property, you hold firmly to get your money back.Maybe the idea he holds is that in the country-side, everything must be returned including even one needle and one thread.Everything needs to be returned.It is why the problem has been prolonged without resolution.As for your thought, I think that you, Zhang Qiang, as an educated young man, your thought should not be right.On the whole, as for us, we respect some of your customs, respect your customs.Now that the things have been sent; the female side has also admitted major ones.It is just some details and other small things that the female side does not admit.This created such great conflict between both of your families…The female side thinks that, she did not count some things in.Probably these several things may have some inflation, thus does not admit everything.Therefore, you are tied up in this issue, tied up in this issue.This influences the solidarity, the solidarity.The whole village has known about you two families.You two families have been fighting and fighting for this issue.Even mentioned that if the female side goes to find (another man),the male side will interfere and do what and what with these things.That’s not right, not right.Of course, the male side thinks that it is all because the female side went to work in cities.At first, you got along with each other well, but the female side went outside to work in cities; yeah, she see the outside world, and probably she is dating someone else.Probably she looks down upon you.So it created such anger within you.If indeed the female side works in cities and knows other people, it’s normal.She can choose, yeah, she can also choose because before getting the marriage certificate, she can, she can choose as she will.It is her freedom.The male side should not lose temper, and neither should you always think the woman has changed her mind as she is working in cities.Even if the woman has changed her mind because of working in cities, it’s reasonable, reasonable.It is within normal range.The female side doesn’t want to keep this kind of relationship.This kind of relationship — the male side likes playing cards, and does it whenever he is free.He doesn’t like studying…”
The mediator made a lengthy speech above to balance the one sided opinion from very beginning of the mediation that the female side should return the gift and money to the male side,thus to alleviate the hostility between the two parties.First, she talks about the male side’s mentality.C was devoted and generous with his money and labor when dating W.Therefore, he could not accept the fact that W wants to break their engagement after going to work in cities.C wants W to return all the gifts and money he gave to W and her family.He even threatens her should she date other men.Then, the mediator analyzes the mentality from the female side.W admits that C has provided money and labor to her and her family, but she is not willing to calculate the total value of those monies and gifts received in detail.Also she could have met another man in the city where she works.She complains that C plays card and does not study.After the analysis,the focal point of the dispute is clear, and both parties have responsibility in breaking up the engagement, and it is not just W’s fault.The mediator states that C should not be angry with W because she exercises her free will and her right to choose before marriage, and that W is not totally satisfied with C.She also tries to justify C’s anger towards W by pointing out his wholehearted devotion during their dating and engagement period.The tactic of balancing helps both W and C see more clearly from the other party’s perspective, and to understand the situation better.Since nobody should be solely responsible for the breaking up, both should compromise to solve the conflict.
In the case of offspring support of parents, the mediator uses the tactics of one-sidedness and third party mediation, by means of the attendance of legal personnel and local officials.However,when these tactics backfire on the son, the village head makes the following comment to balance the situation:
“From our standpoint, it may not be Chen Guoqiang fault.It takes two to tango.You must have many unpleasant experiences and many conflicts with each other, and you don’t deal with it correctly.Therefore as for us here, we come for the purpose of persuading you, listening to your opinions, and striving to mediate to the best, so that your, Chen Guoqiang’s father will cancel the lawsuit and resolve this issue…”
Similarly, in the case of the child’s injury, the mediator sided in the beginning with the child’s grandma to ask the mother to pay for the child’s medical costs.However, after the child’s mother claims that she does not have money and requests her mother in law to pay part of the medical cost, the mediator turns to the mother in law for paying part of the cost:
(M – the mediator; P – the grandma; W – the mother)
P: I don’t have any money, Ahya.
W: Now I tell you, I still don’t have money.It is that I still agree to follow the Community’s mediation step by step.But, mum, how about you giving 5000 yuan temporarily?
M: This problem, you all should face and resolve it together.Then, you as the kid’s grandma, then can you think of a way? After all, you have some pension money.Can you think of a way? How will it go? You provide some money,lend 5000 yuan first.This kid’s cost going to Zigong Hospital.Lend 5000 yuan to pay the cost first, OK?
W: Please, Mum? Now.
P: OK, then, I will lend 5000 yuan, and hand it over to the director.
The mediator altercasts the mother in law into the role of the kid’s grandma.Therefore it is hard for her to refuse the mediator’s proposal of providing 5000 yuan for the child’s medical costs at Zigong Hospital.The mediator has the power to cast roles on the disputants.When she sees that the daughter is most likely honest in saying that she does not have money to pay for the medical costs of further hospitalization of her child, and has been consistently resistant to pay, she balances her previous proposal of having the mother pay all the cost by asking the mother in law to take a part.This tactic works not just to provide balance for both parties face but also makes one party compromise more.