Tactic two – Introducing External Reasons
Bring in external reasons other than reasons directly related to the case to make the disputants give in on their own opinions so that to clear the barrier for resolving the dispute.
Usually, the external reasons are such as the officials’ efforts,the authority and higher age, as well as the face concern for the mediator or the officials.Compared with the tactic of invoking authority, this tactic adopts more direct language requesting the disputants to concede by taking into consideration of the factors mentioned above.
A number of scholars argue that face concern is related to conflict management style (e.g.Ting-Toomey et al., 1991).Face is also identified by G.M.Chen (2002) as one of the most important values in Chinese conflict management and resolution.According to G, Gao (1998), one of the sub-categories of face in Chinese culture is “mian”— the compliance gaining (the other is “lian”),conflict mediation and requesting behaviors.It is a major concern in self-reproach, decision making, behavior regulation and effectiveness of requests.The mediator usually is an elder,designated or elected official, or a judge, and they are respected for their experience, expertise, authority or reputation.Most of them would consider it a loss of face or failure in their job duties to not be able to resolve the conflict (Jia, 2002).Because face threat is to be avoided by all cost in Chinese culture, the disputants would usually consider the face of the mediator a justified reason to concede.When there is an impasse, it is a convenient excuse for them to give in without hurting their own pride and face by saying something to the effect of: “I only give in because I respect the mediator not because I think that my proposal or argument is less legitimate than yours.”The following excerpt is from the case of Shijiazhuang Pre-trial divorce mediation, the mediator tries to explain the purpose of the mediation.
“I, I, first, learn about the situation, then later you can,can…My last name is Yang.As for the marriage itself, as a saying goes, ‘marriage freedom’, under the general condition,the marriage has lasted for such a long time, therefore,people’s feelings are… Having problems is normal.Why don’t others have problems, just we have problems? Therefore,according to this situation, let’s do some analysis to see if there are possibilities for the marriage to work out.If there indeed are no possibilities to fix it, then just let it go.If there are some possibilities of getting back together, then do it ‘if not for the monk’s face, then for the Buddha’s,’right?Therefore, at the beginning, I have said, we are going to verify your marriage situation, verify some of your real feelings then…”
The mediator uses the old saying that if you do not look at the“mian”of the monk you should look at the “mian”of the Buddha,to try to persuade the parties to get back together “for the sake of the mediator’s face”if they think there is any possibility of reconciliation.The mediator is using her own face/mian as an external reason; however, this is not a substantial pleading but more of a hedge or mitigation to make the statement appear less imposing yet powerful.She is saying, “I don’t want to impose on you the decision that you should get back together, however, if it happened, you must have been doing me a favor for the sake of my face.”The mediator’s higher position in the mediation empowers her to bring in this external reason comparing herself to “monk”or “the Buddha.”It is a phrase that’s commonly used in such situations as asking people to compromise for the sake of a third party’s face concerns.In the case of woods dispute, the mediator tries to persuade the parties to compromise with each other and not to pay too much attention to other nuances.
“…The village leaders have delayed so much work.Our township leaders also have delayed so much work particularly to solve your problems (if) we calculate this.We township leaders come particularly to solve your problems, (but) what about the village leaders? Some of the village leaders are not paid, and they worked for several nights for you for free…worked for several nights for your dispute for free.If you want to calculate this…if you count everything in money,you will always measure the things in money.So, so you need to make some sacrifice and don’t be too calculating.I think the focal point of your dispute is not so big.The key is the issue of the ownership of the woods, the right to use and to own.As for this, the township has investigated it for you,particularly, running around for you for several days,particularly did some investigation.As for this issue, it’s not a big deal… In my opinion, you should still listen to the opinions of the township.Listening to the township is listening to us.As for other aspects, we won’t consider.”
The mediator, representing the township government, is trying to persuade the disputant to consider the efforts made by both the township leaders and the village leaders to solve the dispute.She seems to say, if these important people could volunteer several nights to solve their conflict, how you can be so calculating on money in this dispute.Don’t you feel shameful?Again, self-sacrifice is considered a virtue in Chinese culture.When the group interest is in conflict with individual interest, the latter should be sacrificed.The mediator is not emphasizing the result of the investigation conducted by the township and village leaders, but the effort they made during the investigation process.Her goal is to reframe the perspective of the disputants, trying not to focus on their personal gain and interest but on the broader purpose of resolving the conflict in the interest of the group.Furthermore, the mediators claim power by mentioning the sacrifice and efforts they made in dealing with this case, so that to make the rebellious disputant give in.
The disputants also expect that “considering the face of the mediator and the officials”is an acceptable reason to compromise.First, if one party plainly admits his/her reconciliation after arguing with the other party, it will be a loss of face for him/her.“Having stairs to step down”is a Chinese way to reconcile without losing one’s face.Second, submission to higher positional power is a socially accepted way to resolve conflict in China.In the case of the disengagement dispute, the female villager is trying to keep the compensation for the losses incurred by the male neighbor below 5000 yuan.When the man asks for more, she made the following comment:
“…No way, you cannot count in this way.If you are reasonable,you, we…then…we will seriously…resolve it in a friendly way.Then (the stuff) that is not count in can be treated as making friends.We can make it a good time, you know.If it is like this,I think, in the faces of these cadres, I still want to settle this issueand pay you 5000 yuan.If you don’t think so, I don’t even have 500, let alone 5000.I…no matter how little it is, don’t have it.”
In the excerpt above, the female villager says that her offer of 5000 dollars is based on the presence of the officials (the underlined sentence), indicating that she is “stepping down the stairs,”i.e.she is compromising.Due to the concern for keeping the friendly relationship with the male side, and considering the officials’ “face,”she would like to settle the problem by offering 5000 yuan.The mediator’s face serves as the stairs for the male disputant to step down to reconcile with the female side.The male villager made the following comment:
“All right.I think that I have occupied the time of all of you
today, well, let it be like that.”
Note that he almost apologizes for occupying the time of the mediator and the matchmaker (the underlined sentence).“You”refer to the mediator and the matchmaker.This is a way to say,because of the efforts people have made, I am going to reconcile with the other disputant.His willingness to submit to the power of the mediator is an acceptable norm, thus he is the doing the“right”things in the eyes of Chinese — submission to higher positional power, tolerant and reasonable.In the case of child sickness, the grandma entrusts the mediator, the director of the community office, to make a decision to resolve the case for her.
“Director Fu, to be honest, since my grandson is in such condition, isn’t my heart sad? My heart is extremely sad.Since I come to you Community to ask you director to find a way out for me, whatever you want me to do, I will do it.Just follow the director’s words.”
Note that the director of the community office used to be designated by the government.Recently, a reform has taken place at the community level where the directors have been elected by the people in the community.Therefore, the officials in the community office are usually considered to be capable and are respected in the community.In such situations, it is common for the disputants to entrust the mediator with the will of the community, thus giving power to him/her to make decisions for them.
In the case of adult child’s financial support his parents, the son continues to refuse to pay for the parents’ medical cost and/or a monthly subsidy at the end of the mediation.The mediators ask the son to think more about his obligations.
(M1 – the mediator 1; M2 – the mediator 2; S – the son)
S: I can lose 300 or 500 yuan.But I am like this (not supporting my parents) because of those things (they have done to us).(https://www.daowen.com)
M1: Being family, what (all this conflict is) for?
…
Village head: We have done what our obligations require.
M2: All of us can think about it.Branch secretary, village head and director, you make time from your busy schedule.We all care about him.Anyways, we have explained to him the results and reasons quite clearly,quite straightforward.So let’s just leave him more time to think about it.
Note that M2 mentions that all the officials take time particularly to deal with this issue, or to try to persuade the son to accept his responsibility.This is a way to ask the son to consider the efforts made by all the officials who are busy with their daily obligations.In Chinese culture, the one who disturbs the harmony and refuses to conform to societal norms is considered a nuisance who brings trouble to the whole community.From the village head’s speech, we can also see that the officials take it as their obligation to resolve the conflict and to persuade the son to restore harmony.It is also a loss of face for the officials if they fail to persuade the son and fulfill their obligation.Even though, they invested their time and efforts in this case, and even though they have positional power, the son still does not want to give in and support his aged parents.More and more such cases are happening in rural areas of China as my interviews with mediators show, which indicates a shift of people’s moral values and perceptions about the positional power of the officials.
In the court mediation, the judge represents the authority and the law.He/she is highly respected even when he/she “step down”to be the mediator of a case.In the case of Luzhou interval trial court mediation, both the husband and the wife agree not to have a divorce at the end of the caucusing sessions.Here is how the wife displays her willingness to reconcile in the case of Luzhou interval-trial divorce mediation.
“… Thus, I think we won’t have any conflict.Please believe me,judge.I will handle the relationship well.To be honest, I feel ashamed that you have already been off work and are still trying to do persuasion work for us two people’s problem.I am quite moved.If I still didn’t listen to your persuasion, I would feel regretful because of Judge.Please tell Li Gang, as long as Li Gang can treat me well as he used to, and be responsible to the family, I won’t get a divorce… Having occupied so much of judge’s time, I don’t have anything else to say.”
W is persuaded by the judge’s argument that they don’t have to live with Li Gang’s mother.She also promises that she would try harder to save their relationship.She feels that she needs to consider the face (mian) of the judge and stop being part of the trouble.By doing and saying the “right”things and submitting to the mediator’s agenda, it is a way to compromise while saving face for herself.The following is the husband’s response to the outcome of the mediation:
“(being touched) Thanks, judge, for your concern for us.(We)made you delay for so long, spent so much energy, and did so much work for us couple.Finally, you made us couple reconcile.Thank you for doing this big favor.I can only use actual action to repay judge.Please, big brother judge, ask Li Jing to come in.I will apologize to her in front of you,begging for her to forgive.”
To make the speech above, the husband achieved several purposes: First, he is accepting the judge’s education and chastisement as an older person and judge, thus promises to do whatever he told him to.Second, he is giving consideration to the mediator’s face by accepting the blame and responsibility and intends to follow the mediator’s advice to rebuild the marriage.Last, he is saving his own face even though admitting it is his fault.The following excerpt comes from the ending of the mediation:
(H – the husband; W – the wife)
…
H: Judge has talked to us respectively, truly for the sake of our goodness.I am very touched.More words, I won’t say.I only want to say “thank you”— these two words.Now in front of judge and secretary, I want to say to Jing Wang,“Wife, I am sorry, the thousands of faults are all mine.Please forgive me.In the future, I will love you as when I courted you before, and won’t make you angry anymore.”
W: (Sobbing) considering about Judge’s face, I let you get away with it.Thanks, judge.(bowing)
Note that the wife accepts the husband’s apology not for its own merits, the interest of her family, or her personal interest,but for the face (mian) of the judge.It is a common practice for people to reconcile in a conflict situation in China by forgiving a person in honoring of a third party’s face.In saying this, both the party who asks for forgiveness and the party who accepts forgiveness won’t lose face when an agreement is reached.This conversation at the end of the mediation is more or less formulaic in Chinese culture, but is necessary as both parties express their willingness to resolve the dispute and maintain the marriage.This case shows that, again, submitting to a higher power rather than confronting each other makes the conflict easier to be resolved.
【注释】
[1]All the names in the transcript of this book were replaced by pseudonyms to maintain anonymity according to the agreement with all the participants of the study.
[2]All the parentheses in the convercation represent the wlter ances that are undistinguishable due to poor audio effect overlapping with the turns forwarded by other participants.