Tactic Two – Minimization
Minimize the factors that cause the conflict or the conflict itself.
The choice of minimization or maximization depends on the disputant’s or mediator’s goal in framing the incidents.The mediator usually tries to get both parties overlook the severity of the dispute or the result caused by the dispute in order to lessen the hostility between the two.In the case of the conflict between the owners’ committee and the manager of a neighborhood, the head of the community that is part of the neighborhood was invited to be the mediator.The head of the community office brought in the three disputants, including two directors from the owners’ committee and the manager, to the community office to mediate their conflict.
Before the formal mediation, the head of the community office has already done some investigation and heard most of the stories from each party.Additionally, she was also involved in the process of formation of the owners’ committee.At the very beginning of the mediation, the head of the community office spends a large proportion of time — over 12 minutes — talking about the purpose of the mediation, the general situation and tying to convince the disputants that there is no really serious problem among them.
“…As for you, first, you don’t have any experience, doing this job needs adapting to each other, that is, in the beginning of any work, there is a period of time for adaptation.In fact,you are in this adaptation period, that is, you need to adapt to each other… In fact, I think if there is debate about a problem, in fact, it is a good phenomenon…This, of course, is a good phenomenon, do you agree?...Now, the conflict has been infinitely enlarged.Solving the conflict should not be so complicated.It was made complicated… Also, I think that I think that there should not be any conflict between teacher Zhang and teacher Duan.You have been working hard for this owners’ committee, making effort and seeking help, so you should not have any conflict…I think your whole problem is caused by a major mistake in method when dealing with and thinking about problems.Talking about conflict, I still don’t think there is any acute conflict… Now, the problem has appeared.I heard that there isn’t any acute conflict among you.It is probably on the method.Subjectively, everybody wants to do a good job for the neighborhood.Methodologically, of course, I think (the problem) is in this aspect… Look what (a mess) you have turned into.This one blames that one, that one blames this one.You have killed the original fruit you achieved…”
The mediator explains the reason and purpose for bringing everybody together.She tries to minimize the conflict, by saying that she did not find reasons for the conflict, there is no “acute conflict,”the conflict “has been unlimitedly enlarged,”and“solving the conflict should not be so complicated.”She also points out that “it is a good phenomenon”to have conflict, and that the “whole problem is caused by a major mistake in method,”and lack of experience.Note that she repeats some of these comments several times to emphasize that the problem is natural in the process of adaptation, less severe than it appears to be and mainly is due to a methodological problem.However, she also says that they created a “mess,”so that they need mediation to save the “fruit you achieved.”This is done in order to urge the disputants to resolve the dispute even if it is minor and “nothing fundamental”as she was trying to argue in the first part of her speech.
Apart from changing the disputants’ perspective on the conflict in the direction of minimizing the problem to soften the adversarial attitudes of the disputants, the mediator also tries to minimize the importance of the seal.After listening to the stories from both sides, she then made the following comment.
“Here, I think there is misunderstanding.That is when this issue is brought up, I did not know some seal was involved.Later, it was intensified.I should say, this seal of the owners’committee, if our community does not authorize (power) to this seal, how much function will this seal have? It would not have much function.However, as for inner personnel, what happened, of course, I have no clear clue, but talking about this seal being used, later, he said that he took it to hand it over to him, right? Oh, I did not know that this seal had been used.I asked.Say to use this seal, say to do it.As soon as I thought of this thing I asked.“I used it and handed it over to him.”O, I said, “you used it.Director Zhang has come back?”“I remember.”
When the assistant director and the manager kept arguing about was not letting the other know about the seal.The mediator interrupts to say that “there is misunderstanding”rather than conflict.M sees that the focal point of the conflict is the seal,which, however, is probably superficial, so she tries to minimize the power of the seal and rendering the seal an unimportant“form.”Here, two kinds of minimization occur.One is that M tries to minimize the fact that there is a conflict by calling it a misunderstanding.The other one is that M tries to minimize the function of the seal.By doing both, M is trying to reduce the conflict to minimum and to defeat the cause of the conflict.
The assistant director of the owners’ committee blames the manager for using the seal without her knowledge.The manager blames the assistant director of not trusting him.The mediator tries to give an account of the process of making the seal, using the seal and why it brings confusion so that to clarify the confusion from her angle.
“‘Oh!’ I said.‘done, done, the seal has not even been made,’I said, ‘the seal? (I) don’t know who has it.This seal should be placed at the community office, so this was what I thought at that time, later, when teacher Duan came, the conflict arose among you.Then teacher Duan said it was not good.I told teacher Duan that let it be, and I know what the seal was used for.This was the one that you saw just now, which was turned in.I know it.Teacher Duan said, ‘It is no good.’ I explained to teacher Duan about this seal then that it was only used this time as far as I know.The seal has not much use for other things.It has not much use outside.”
M gives an account of events to clarify what happened after the seal was used without the notice to the assistant director and what the mediator’s attitude is regarding the manager’s use of the seal at that time.Note that as the head of the community office,M has been somewhat involved in the issue concerned.She tries to make contributions to the facts based on her own experience.At this point, she is not only a mediator but also a participant.Some literature on community or neighborhood mediation (e.g.Merry,1982) has found that the mediator is usually someone who knows both parties well and knows about the whole picture even before the mediation happens.However, the basic requirement for the mediation in the US is the mediator’s detachment from both parties and the issue concerned to ensure the unbiased and neutral position of the mediator.This difference is due to the different underlining rational for the role of the mediator and the nature of the mediation in two cultures.In the speech above, M minimizes the usefulness of the seal again by saying, “the seal has not much use for other things.It has not much use outside.”Here,M is to say, “Look, I have been involved in this process and I know the whole situation, so trust me on my judgment and there is no major conflict.”The mediation here is more like what some researchers (e.g.Jacobs & Arkhus, 2003) call “therapeutic.”By disclosing each person’s anger and dissatisfaction in the presence of other parties, the communication is achieved.However, it does not necessarily mean that all will reach an agreement or solution to the problem.
“I think this misunderstanding had thus started.At that time,I felt this misunderstanding, so I kept saying that it was no big deal.That’s why I tried hard to stop teacher Duan from making a new seal.‘You must not make a new one.If you make one, the conflict will be more.’ At that time, while I was still explaining this conflict to her, teacher Duan started stepping out in a hurry, insisting on making a new one.I asked our director Zhang, ‘What happened? How did their conflict come?’ No serious conflict.It is just why (she) had to make another seal.Of course she should not.This seal should not be made, but I don’t know the result.Whether she had one made or not, I don’t know.…In fact, you, to be honest, all are very concerned (with this conflict), and serious about your work.I, all in all, feel that this problem probably is that your methods do not match.”
M continues giving autobiographic account of how the assistant director made a new seal despite M’s strong opposition to it.Later when the director knew about the conflict between the manager and the assistant director regarding the seal, he refused to accept it.Therefore, the ceremony of receiving the seal was canceled.M feels that there is no major conflict among them, instead, it is only a matter of adapting to each other’s work method.Here, M is gradually showing her attitude and judgment towards the issue while still working to minimize the severity of the conflict.In addition to the mediator, the lawyer (L) who is brought to the mediation by the head of the Community office also tries to minimize the usefulness and legal effect of the seal.
L: This seal, no matter whether (you) are qualified to be a legal person, has to be in the community.
…
L: Teacher Duan, I feel, from a broader perspective, I won’t say much about this.The one in the bureau has no power,then (you) are afraid that there maybe some problem using the same one.This kind of thinking I can understand.The attitude of being responsible for the people, but as I told you before, not being the legal entity, you cannot do anything.There is no meaning.(Since you) cannot solve substantial problems, you shouldn’t think about this.
…
L: Listen to me, teacher Duan, it is not necessary for you at all to pursue this issue of being used or not, effective or ineffective.It is not meaningful being used or not!
…
L: (You) look at this problem beyond its practical meaning,than it has, it is not balanced.This this misunderstanding,this…
Note that the lawyer tries to persuade the assistant director(Teacher Duan) that the owners’ committee is not legal entity;therefore, the seal issued by the committee has no legal power.He uses “not necessary,”“no meaning,”“not balanced,”“beyond its practical meaning”and “cannot solve substantial problems”to describe the assistant director’s endeavor to pursue the issue.Therefore, according to him, the whole conflict is“misunderstanding”about the legal importance of the seal.
In some situations, in order to make both parties meet each other in the middle or to have one party accept the other’s offer or counter offer, the mediator would minimize the difference between the offer and the counter offer.In the following excerpts from the case of the pre-trial mediation on divorce settlement,the mediator is using this tactic to try to persuade the wife to accept the husband’s offer.
“In regard to the financial problem, as for this issue itself, I suppose you can earn it through labor later.You don’t have to get tangled up in this marriage issue, do you? And the sum of money is only a few thousand, and the difference is not so big.I hope you could both make some room to compromise so as to resolve the issue, will you? Given the situation you are in, you…
…
M: You have been a couple, and it’s only about the two or three thousand yuan.It is indeed on the issue of the kid.What else should I say any more?
…
M: Don’t care too much about the money.You can earn it yourself.(It is only) 2000 yuan!
The judge is trying to minimize the difference between the wife’s offer and the husband’s counter offer, which is 2000 yuan.In order to reach that goal, he suggests that she could earn it through her own labor so that she won’t rely solely on the marriage settlement.He also asks her to think about their time being a couple and pay more attention to the issues involving the child.In other words, he is trying to maximize the positive side of the failed marriage.Thus, he is pulling the wife’s request closer to the husband’s counter offer.(https://www.daowen.com)
Sometimes, one or both disputants will maximize the conflict or severity of the incident in order to achieve his/her goal and exert influence on the outcome of the mediation, while the mediator tries to frame the speech in such a way as to minimize the conflict and the severity of the incident.In the following case of the divorce mediation where the wife wants a divorce while the husband does not, the wife tells the mediator about how the husband’s family is not treating their child well by observing the child’s attachment to her.The following excerpt is from Shijiazhuang pre-trial divorce mediation.
(M – the mediator; W – the wife)
W: In a straight way, of course it is when the parents get along well, the child will be in the best situation.But if…the child lives a kind of life that lacks sense of safety…,that is to say it’s full of fights, and quarrels, or frequently in a cold war environment, I believe that it is worse than living in a single parent family that…that…has a peaceful and…warm environment.
M: Uh, cold war, ha ha.You two are easily getting into cold war situation? So to speak, you are…
By laughing and repeating what W says — the “cold war”—between her and her husband, M is laughing off the embarrassment and trying to alleviate the tension so that to lessen the severity of the matter.
W: Speaking of this, you said that, we are all talking about providing the child with a best education, best what, it relates to the family, right? About this, I have thought about it.Why? The parents are in a good relationship, the child in home and adapts to that, will feel at ease.Family with freedom makes people feel at ease, right?But when I went back home…, even I myself couldn’t feel safe, I feel a kind of agony instead.I am not sure how the child would feel.Our child is unique, that’s why I always want the child to live with me.When she was one year and eight months old, she left me, because I had to go to work, the child was growing up.After she left me, in order to wean my child, she, for one month, never saw me once.When I went home, the child accepted me almost immediately when I touched her.Since then, whatever I was doing, she would let me hold her in my arms.If anyone else teased her at that time, she wouldn’t reject…and she wouldn’t go away from me.Her grandpa(her father’s father) always…she always followed her grandpa.Day or night, even slept in the same bed with her grandpa.But as long as I went home, she would not follow anyone else but me.At the age of three and a half,that was, in 2004, she started to, gradually…uh, when I went home, she started to stay away from me.Well, I went home, when I stayed at home long enough, then she became, little by little…that was when I was at home…
M: Birth…, the point is proved; birth mother sometimes is less close to the child than foster mother.The child feels close to the one who looks after him or her.All children are like this.
W: But, yeah, she feels closer to the one who looks after her.That’s because her grandpa has much more time to stay with her.But I lived in another place and it’s not convenient to come home.But when she asked me to come home, then I did.Then she followed her grandpa? — No,not anybody else, just me, even when I went to the bathroom, she…
M: It is a matter of the personality.
The wife narrates the story about the child’s reaction to her while she is at home.She frames it in a way to say that the child does not have a sense of security at her grandpa’s home, only wanting her when she is around.She is trying to maximize the child’s attachment to her and interpret that the child can only feel secure with her.In this way, the wife is implicitly claiming the child’s custody.However, M tries to defeat her attempt by minimizing the effect of the wife’s story, and reframes the wife’s story as it is a matter of who is taking care of the child and of the child’s personality.She explains that the child’s affection for the mother rather than the grandpa or other people is due to the child’s personality.The mediator’s intention in doing this is to clear away any barriers in the wife’s mind in order to resolve the conflict within their marriage, and to facilitate a resolution.
In the following extract, the same thing happens again when the wife tries to tell the mediator that the child only wants her not the father.
W: …So, after the child was three and half, slowly, that…not at my side, but as long as I showed up, she would only follow me everywhere, no one else, whoever he was.When we two went out with our daughter, he could never hold her in his arms.She just allowed me to hold her.She just didn’t allow him to hold her.I don’t know why.He had more opportunities to be with her, because, he lived here in the same city, but I lived in Zhengding.I don’t know, love and care, whether he gives her or not.The child can feel that, children will never lie about that.
M: As a little child, of course she is closer to the mother.After she reaches 10…
W: It’s not about that…
M: When she grows up, the situation will become different…
The wife continues to tell the story about the child not wanting the father but only herself even though the child is very kind and caring to other people.The story frame is that the husband did not give love to the child, therefore, she is not attached to him.Again, the mediator tries to reframe the story to say that it is normal that a child is closer to the mother before age ten.This time, the wife simply dismisses the mediator’s interpret of her story about the child.As we can see, the one who wants a divorce tries her best to maximize the factors that lead to the conflict, while the other who tries to stop it tries her best to minimize the same factors.This tug of war shows that one disputant rebels against the mediator’s agenda to resolve the conflict, and plainly resists the mediator’s positional power, as well as her persuasive power.
In such situations where she loses her power, the mediator has to follow along with the disputant’s flow of thoughts and find an opportunity to defeat her rationale.The following extract also reflects the mediator’s attempt to do that.
W: It’s not about that.When we were going out for a walk with her, or doing something else, I was holding her all the time, but couldn’t you give me a change? You, as a father, hold her for a while? Children should have accepted that.But our daughter never let her father hold her.
M: Never let her father hold her.
W: Got that? That was a very… I have learned psychology,about…about…about psychologically caring about somebody.I just want to say, I just think, that after I analyzed this, why? Why she doesn’t like to be at his side?Maybe because she, at home, has a habit, that is…, she,she, during the day, gets used to being with her grandpa…
M: Sorry for interrupting, but I want to know, at school,what do you teach?
W: I used to teach art, now I am teaching computer.
M questions the wife’s credentials of her psychological analysis by asking what she teaches.M did not say it directly, but,from the question and answer, it is easy for us to see that M tries to defeat the wife’s argument by questioning her in terms of the area of her expertise.On the one hand, the mediator has her own agenda for the mediation and tries to minimize the conflict.On the other hand, she is trying to defeat the wife’s argument to maximize the conflict.
In some situations, the mediator is the one trying to maximize the severity of the incident or conflict in order to get the disputant conditionally accept an agreement within the mediation.The following is an excerpt from the case of offspring support of parents.The head of the village, who is also invited to attend the mediation, made the following speech:
(V – head of village)
V: On this case, of course, we have considerations.What effect do we want to get from this case? You come here to deal with the case; and we think it is not only a case for your family, but also an example for general publicity.Isn’t it? Maybe, possibly, we will educate other ordinary people with your case.Today, we…we would have gone to the radio station to inform the reporters to come.But that needs consideration in many respects.Let’s still resolve it (within ourselves) for you in the first place.
The head of the village emphasizes that the case would have been brought in front of the public as a warning to other people.This would lead to the public knowledge of the conflict between the father and the son.For Chinese, it is a major loss of face.As the old Chinese saying goes, “family scandal cannot be spread to the outside,”to let people outside the family know about the conflict between the father and the son and is destructive to the reputation of the family; as the old Chinese saying goes, “family scandal cannot be spread to the outside”.The head of the village is saying that the father and the son had better resolve their dispute within this mediation session because the conflict is so serious (as a son should never refuse to support his aged parents)that it worth serving as a negative example to other people in the village.The intention of the head of the village to maximize the conflict is to make the son realize the severity of the conflict and to admit his fault so that he will be cooperative in the mediation and take on the responsibility of supporting his parents.