Principles of Business Writing
2.1 Clarity
The content of business writing should be clear.One way to achieve this purpose is to use concrete information,instead of using ambiguous or fuzzy words and expressions.
Avoiding ambiguous words and expressions
The information in business writing should be concrete,instead of ambiguous. For example:“Mr.Brown told our manager Jim that he would go to his factory”.In most cases,the pronoun“he”“she”“it”,or“they”can refer either the subject or the object.In this example,“his factory”can be Mr.Brown's or Jim's factory.This expression arouses ambiguity and the readers have to distinguish or even guess what on earth the pronoun stands for.In business writing,people shall be cautious to use them.
Avoiding fuzzy words or expressions
In the business letters,the price,discount and trade terms are the core of negotiation.These factors need to be described clearly and concretely.To use the general words may result in disputes or losses.For examples:
We will discharge the cargoes at the main port of Europe.
Revision:We will discharge the cargoes at Port of Bordeaux.（a concrete port of Europe)
The factory has a lot of employees.
Revision:The factory has 500 employees.（a concrete number)
Shipment shall be effected as soon as possible.
Revision:Shipment shall be effected before May 15，2014.
In the first example,the expression“at the main port of Europe”is so vague that the readers will not know what on earth the port is among so many ports in Europe.In the second example,if this expression is used in formal reports or company profiles,the information on the number of the employees is not enough for the readers to make judgment whether the company is a big one or small one.The example three is unclear in the expression of time.In order to make the readers rest assured,it is necessary to set a deadline of shipment.
Adverbs,adjectives and prepositional phrases can be used to modify other words or phrases in business writing.But if the modifiers are used in wrong places,the meaning of the sentence will become confusing.For example:
He is a criminal layer.
He is a sweet salesman.
The first example can be interpreted in two ways.The first meaning is that the layer is a criminal.The second interpretation is that the layer deals with criminal cases.The second example encounters the same problem.One meaning is that the salesman is very friendly and kind.The other meaning is that the salesman sells sweets or candies.Therefore,the modifiers in these two sentences are used in an ambiguous way.
Acronym is a word made up of the initial letters of several words,such as WTO （World Trade Organization)and WCO（World Customs Organization).Jargon is a term used in a specific field or by a particular group of people,such as sepsis, complication,computerized tomography used in medical field；bonded,consignment, and freight forwarding used in international trade.If the readers are not familiar with these acronyms or jargons,the understanding of the business writing will become hard and time consuming.
For the acronyms,we can write down their full names at the first time and attach the abbreviations to the full name in the parenthesis.Afterwards,to use acronyms only is enough for the readers.For example:We wish to buy 1，000 bicycles packed in wooden case and completely knocked down（CKD).
When using the jargons,the writer should be sure that readers understand the meaning of each term or the writer explains each term every time when it appears, otherwise,readers will feel confused about these words.For example:
（JetPac)offers a patented fuel filtering and distribution system that removes 94 percent of all harmful and noxious gases from all sizes of internal combustion engines.Rather than requiring complete redesign and overhaul of the manufacturing process,（JetPac)assembly procedures mesh with preexisting assembly line operations.The（JetPac)filter and manifold assembly fits easily over existing carburetors.An extra step,rather than a complete overhaul,is all that is required.
（JetPac)为你提供一套为燃料过滤和输送所设计的专利系统。它能去除任何型号的内燃发动机所产生的94%的有毒气体。（JetPac)不需要对生产系统进行重新设计或者大换血，它的安装过程与你原先的生产线运行密切一致。（JetPac)的过滤器和多样式组合能很轻易地适应现有的化油器。你所需要的只是多做一道工序，而不是来个大换血。
In this letter,the writer introduces the new product which is sophisticated in technology.Many terms are used,such as patented fuel filtering，distribution system，internal combustion engines,manifold assembly，and carburetors.If readers are not familiar with this field and technology,the promotion of this new product would fail.
2.2 Conciseness
The second way to achieve clarity is conciseness.The efficient managers and overworked workers need to see concise articles so that they can grasp the main ideas and make response as quickly as possible.Conciseness can be embodied in two aspects:the choice of words and the length of the sentence.
When choosing the words,people prefer to use familiar and economical words, instead of wordy words.For examples:
As some collocations may have different meanings,we shall use precise words to make the meaning clearer.For examples:
continued
Length of sentences can influence the reader's understanding of an article. Generally speaking,the average length of sentences in an article ranges from 10 to 20 words.This is the best length for quick comprehension of a sentence.If a sentence contains more than 20 words,the readers may skip or misunderstand it.
Long sentences can be changed into several short ones,for example:
We are sorry to have your complaint but regret that we do not hold ourselves responsible for the loss because the goods were in perfect condition when they left here and the damage must have occurred during transit.
Revision:We are sorry to have your complaint，but we do not hold ourselves responsible for the loss.As the goods were in perfect condition when they left here，the damage must have occurred during transit.
The original sentence is a little long,containing 38 words and several conjunctions are used to blend a few view points.It is hard to find out the emphasis. After revision,the long sentence is cut into two short ones,each clearly conveying one idea.
Clarity is the premise of conciseness.The omission of some words or sentences resulting in misunderstanding or incoherence of the tones is not applicable.Only when the information can be fully and clearly expressed,we shall consider the conciseness of words and sentences.
2.3 Correctness
Business writing is a kind of practical writing,aiming at the resolution of problems in the society,so it has a high requirement for the correctness of languages.The correctness is embodied not only in grammar,punctuation and spelling of the words,but also in the contents.The contents of business writing should reflect the facts.Understatement,overstatement or any mistake is not advisable.
We should be cautious to use abstruse words,figurative speech,modal particles or qualifiers,such as very,highly,greatly,extremely and so on,because these words can be interpreted in several ways by different readers.Some people may consider them good,some may doubt their authenticity.For examples:
This medicine can cure all diseases for you.
This software can solve all the problems of studying.
When seeing these advertisements,will you buy the medicine or software at once?Maybe our commonsense will tell us these words need to be testified.
Business writing is made out to solve problems,such as writing a letter to sell something,sending an interoffice memo to the employees,reporting the progress to managers or making recommendations to superiors.The content of each business article must be reliable and the language should be plain.It is not advisable to use literary techniques to understate the facts.For example:
We are humble to recommend（something)to you.
Revision:We recommend（something)to you.
We advise that your company，if possible，use this machine.
Revision:we advise your company to use this machine.
In the original sentences,“humble”,and“if possible”weaken the tones and give the readers impression that the writers lack self-confidence and are too timid to promote their products.
If you want to convince the readers that the product is really the best one,you need to show enough proofs.For example:
Gillette Sensor
The only razor that senses and adjusts to the individual needs of your face.
Gillette Sensor:the shave personalized to every man.
It starts with twin blades,individually and independently mounted on highly responsive springs.So they continuously sense and automatically adjust to the individual curves and unique needs of your face.
Innovation is everywhere.You can feel it in the textured ridges and the balance of the sensor razor.You appreciate it in the easy lading system and the convenient shaving organizer.
Even rinsing is innovative,the new blades are 50%narrower than any others—allowing water flow freely around and through them,for effortless cleaning and rinsing.
All these Sensor technologies combine to give your individual face a personalized shave—the closest,smoothest,safest,most comfortable.
The best shave a man can get.
In this advertisement,many modifiers are used,such as the only,every man, the closest,smoothest,safest,most comfortable,and the best.If only judging from these words,we may think this advertisement is a little exaggerating.But in the middle of the writing,the functions and innovations of Gillette Sensor are described clearly and accurately.Readers are inclined to be convinced by these facts.
2.4 Courtesy
“You”-attitude and“I”/“We”-attitude
“You Attitude”means that writers shall consider the events by standing in other people's position,instead of being self-centered.You need to show respect to the readers,concern what they are expected and interested,and care about what they may respond to your request.The simplest way to achieve this purpose is to choose proper personal pronouns.Generally speaking,the pronouns“you”and “your”are better than“I”and“We”in most cases.For example:
Except:
Thank you for your interest in submission to[name of magazine].As requested,you will find writers'guidelines enclosed.Your request for back issues was forwarded to our circulation department for processing.Please contact us if you have not received your issues in two to four weeks.[1]
Sometimes,the personal pronoun“I”or“We”is used in business writings to covey an individual's opinions or to speak for the company.As long as the use of“I”and“We”does not damage the positive face of readers,they can be employed in business writings.For example:
I thought I was a pretty good“investigative”sales person—but with multiple calls to your office assistants,I have not been able to discern your name.
It is a little unusual writing to someone without knowing who it is exactly you're trying to reach,but I had to in this case because you need our expertise.
I recently learned that your company had a flood in the lower level of its office.My company specializes in the restoration of buildings,documents,and everything associated with business recovery from water damage.I've enclosed a list of satisfied clients.
I can help you clear the current recovery hurdle.Why not give me a call?Just identify yourself as the“unknown person”and I'll know just who you are.
I look forward to unveiling the mystery and to helping you immediately address your flood recovery needs.[2]
Reference to readers'name
At the beginning of business writing,you can address a male as Dear Peter or Dear Mr.Peter and avoid the salutations like“Gentlemen”or“Dear sir（s)”which may estrange your readers.
If the reader is a female,you can address her as Dear Madam,Miss Ann for an unmarried girl,Mrs.Ann for married woman or Ms.Ann for a female whose marital status is uncertain for the writer.If you are not sure of the sex of the reader,you can call the reader as“Dear Sir or Madam”.
If you address unfamiliar people in a formal situation,you can find some connections to interest them.For examples:Dear fellow Camper,Dear Customer, Dear Manager,or Dear Editor.
At the end of business writing,you can address the reader（s)one more time to show your concern.In the following letter,the writer congratulates Jason and Jennifer on the new baby.The reader's name has been mentioned for two times so as to show the intimate relationship between the writer and the reader.
[3]Dear（ ):
Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy,（Jason).The birth of a baby gives all of us hope for the future as well as an opportunity for joy and celebration.
We wish you.（Jason and Jennifer),many sleep-filled nights and lots of laughter and good time.
Cordially，
Positive and negative expressions
In business writings,we can use imperative sentence to ask someone to do something and at the same time the pronoun“you”can be omitted.For examples, “Send me the résum锓Forgive me for my mistakes”“Attend the meeting”.
Some readers may consider these expressions are too stiff.We can make use of the word“Please”to soften the tones and show our politeness.For examples: “Please send me the résum锓Please forgive me for my mistakes”“Please attend the meeting”.
It is important to avoid some negative expressions which may sound too harsh to be accepted by readers.For example:
Upon receipt of your complaint，we contact the forwarding agents.
Revision:Upon receipt of your letter，we contact the forwarding agents.
Also,it is necessary not to often explain the reasons by only mentioning the word“according to our policy”“according to our stipulations”“according to the insurance clauses”,because these explanations are not enough to satisfy readers. For example:
According to the contract stipulations，we are not liable for the damage.
Revision:The contract stipulates that…，so we are not liable for the damage.
The original sentence only mentions“contract stipulations”,which is too vague to give full explanation.On the contrary,the revised sentence mentions the specific reasons and detailed stipulations of the contract.This is more convincible for the readers.
Avoiding sexism
One way to show politeness to readers is to avoid sexism.We can use some neutral words,like people,person,humanity,human,human beings,or human race to replace the gender-biased words.For examples:
There are some other ways to avoid sexism,such as repeating the pronouns, using a couple of terms,“he or she”“him or her”,and“his or her”or plural forms to refer to two sexes.Also,the writer can use passive voice to avoid mentioning the actor and the actor's sex.For example:
Sexism:If one has any questions on our products，he can contact our manager.
Revision:If one has any questions on our products，one can contact our manager.
After revision,the writer avoids the discrimination against female readers.