3.3　Patriarchy and gender inequality in marriage a...

3.3　Patriarchy and gender inequality in marriage and the family

We can see,from Sections 3.1 and 3.2,that gender inequality occurs between women and men.For example,a woman,as the old Chinese definition of marriage indicates,becomes a married woman because of her husband (Deng &Xu,2001).This suggests that the husband has a special capacity and power and is,therefore,superior to his wife.Through examining these definitions and examining marriage and family life,and gender,we can also see that marriage and family closely link with sexuality and society,and that gender is defined socially as two artificially constructed sexual categories (the feminine and the masculine).Morality and ethics,institutions and law,culture and history all operate within marriage and the family(Deng &Xu,2001;Fei,1997;Meng,1991),and this leads to gender inequality occurring in the relationships between women/wives and men/husbands.Women are not seen as individuals but as feminine (nüren) and this condones their treatment as inferiors in the home,living under a male patriarchy.

Some sociologists and historians have assumed that the individuals within the family unit are all in a similar situation,sharing the same resources and with the same or similar life-chances (Gittins,1993).However,feminist research has shown that this is not the case,indeed,there are gender inequalities within families,and men and women,boys and girls,do not enjoy the same life-chances (Hanmer et al.,2000).For example,in China,if a son is of marriageable age,the parents will say that the son should 'take' a wife (quqi),while,if a daughter is of marriageable age,they will say that they should 'marry' the daughter to a husband (jiaren).In Chinese quqi means that the son will remain in the family home and stay a member of his parents' family,whereas jiaren means that the daughter cannot stay in the family home but will leave to become a member of her husband's family.This situation is reflected in the old Chinese saying:a married daughter is similar to pouring water(jiachu de nü΄er,puochu de shui).From it,we can see that gender leads to different treatment of the children of the family;they do not share life-chances equally.

Marriage is in fact a form of labour supply and a critical one.This is because marriage conveys a right to the outcome of female fertility and female labour(Therborn,2004).Women can,therefore,be seen as inferior in marriage because of their ability to bear children.As shown in the above,some private employers do not want to employ young women because of giving birth of children (Yi,2006).As Allan (1999) emphasises,sexuality may be seen as a product and an outcome of a preordained labour process.In such a labour supply and process,married women have two sexual tasks.The first is to be a sexual housekeeper to the husband (Allan,1999) and the second is to bear his children,in particular boys,for the sake of the husband's ancestors and to ensure the continuation of the family line (Deng,1998;Deng &Xu,2001;Lan &Fong,1999).The Chinese consider male descendants of primary importance (Baker,1979).Women will suffer abuse from husbands and their husbands' parents if they do not produce a son.According to Confucius,a couple do not show truly filial piety to their ancestors if they do not have a son.In the past some wives were cast off by their husbands (xiuqi) and their families for failing to produce sons,or their husbands took a concubine (naqie) to bear sons(Baker,1979).

This situation still persists in some families today.Such importance is still placed on producing sons,that women who do not bear one may be divorced by their husbands or their husbands may cohabit with another female partner.Women have been and continue to be discarded arbitrarily,like a worthless object,by both their husbands and their families.Stories of this type appear regularly in the news media.The concept of the son as being essential for the continuation of the family line is still fi rmly rooted in people's minds and its links to gender inequality and the lesser position for women in marriage and in the family and society are readily apparent.In the struggle for equality in marriage and in the family,it is vital that people should understand that women are discriminated against unfairly and that they should have the same right of sexuality as men.

As Hartmann (2002) argues,marriage in the West today is usually described as a relationship between two equal partners founded on love,intimacy and companionship.Over recent decades,however,sociological research has found that marital relationships do not always live up to this ideal.Gender inequalities pervade even the most personal of relationships and what happens within the private life of any couple cannot be understood without an understanding of the wider social inequalities and cultural mores in which the relationship is embedded.Women are not only financially and organisationally unequal in marriage,but are also emotionally unequal due to the asymmetries within it.Thus,there is inequality between wives and husbands in their marital relationship.

How and why does gender inequality occur in the marital relationship? As discussed in Section 3.2,legislation reflects this inequality.For example,the phenomenon of the third party still exists in China today,although the China Marriage Law (2001:5) stipulates that cohabitation of a married person with a third party is prohibited.This is because the law,while prohibiting such behaviour does not make any provision for penalising the offending spouse or the third party.The law does not therefore offer any real protection or remedy to the aggrieved partner(usually the wife).Gender inequality can,therefore,be enshrined within the law,even when the 'letter of the law' seeks to protect against it.In order to eliminate such inequality,it could be argued that the state has a responsibility to introduce new legislation to improve the position of women.

Research has shown that in the majority of cases it is the husband who has a relationship outside the marriage with a so called 'second wife' (bao ernai) (Wang,1998;Wang,2001).The fact that it is principally husbands that behave in this way tends to confi rm that gender inequality is occurring between wives and husbands.However,why do men practice such behaviour more than women? In the past polygamous marriage was legal in China and men could have several wives and concubines.For example,ancient Chinese emperors could have 'three palaces and six chambers' (sangong liuyuan),that is they could have innumerable wives and concubines (nüren),while ordinary men could have up to three wives and four concubines (sanqi siqie).These men considered themselves superior to women and lacked respect for them because they were objects which their property and power enabled them to acquire,although they might have a favourite wife or concubine with whom they would spend more time than with the others.Because of the persistence of gender/power inequality between women and men,the practice of men having relationships with other women outside of their marriage is common although polygamy and concubinage has been abolished for over a hundred years in Chinese law (Lanfeng,2006;Liu,2002;Xu,2002;Yi,2004).The richer and more powerful an individual (mainly male) is,the more likely he or she is to have a relationship with third party in China.This is a phenomenon which frequently leads to marriage and family breakdown.

Romantic love is very much a part of popular culture.It is portrayed in art and literature,as well as in soap operas,popular fiction and music,and advertising(Jackson,1999).However,the compulsiveness and insecurity inherent in romantic passion imply a struggle for power even though relationships between wives and husbands based on romantic love are often more egalitarian than those based on arrangement families.For example,studies suggest that women are more dissatisfied with the emotional rather than the material inequalities of love or marriage in heterosexual relations (Duncombe &Marsden,1993;Mansfied &Collard,1988).As Jackson (1999) observed,love may be seen as making women vulnerable,not just to exploitation,but to being hurt by men,for example,domestic violence against women.de Beauvoir (1972:652) also commented that 'the word love by no means has the same meaning for both sexes'.Gender inequality between heterosexual couples in love results in an imbalance of power (Guo,2005).Women may feel powerless and may be exploited by their husbands.As Delphy (1993) and Guillaumin (1995) emphasise,'women' and 'men' are not simply discursive constructs,but exist materially as social groups founded upon unequal,exploitative relationships.

Thus,gender inequality between wives and husbands reflects patriarchal hierarchies of social construction (Jackson,1999).This power inequality results in one being in control of the other.In such unequal relationships,the women are usually the one controlled.Because the umbrella of patriarchy has shaped women's lives for several thousands years (Lerner,1986) they are seen as being naturally inferior to men.In Chapter 2,we saw that women are more often the subject of domestic violence than their husbands.The husband/perpetrator,with his superior status in both the family and in society empowered by history and culture,dominates his wife and uses violence against her.His wife may tolerate such violence because according to social practices and institutions women are subordinate.Indeed,Chinese custom,influenced by Confucian ideology,demands that women should be obedient,an inheritance from the Chinese feudal system(Croll,1995;Hershatter,2007;Pan,1987).

Confucian ideology has been hugely infl uential in China as mentioned in Chapter 1.Although it has been criticised (Davin,1976;Hershatter,2007;Pan,1987),his ideas are deeply rooted in people's minds,and in men's minds in particular (Chu &Ju,1993;Oakley,1974).For example,the rule of the three obediences is a thread which runs through women's lives:obedience to their father when young,obedience to their husband when married,and obedience to their eldest son when widowed(Broyelle,1977;Chen,1916;Meng,1991).Women are considered good women if they are obedient and this is one reason why many women do not report domestic violence or leave the husband/perpetrator.Confucius advocates power inequality between women and men.For example,in the third obedience,we see at work the idea of a strict hierarchy of generations,age and sex.Tradition requires that the young should respect and obey their elders,but the third obedience requires that when widowed the mother should be obedient to her elder son.This reverses the usual relations of generation and respect for age and power between mother and son and Confucius emphasises thereby that power in the family rests with the father/ husband/adult son.Such power is patriarchal indeed.We can see that Confucian ideology fosters gender discrimination and inequality and women/wives may have limited rights compared to the men in the home.

The patriarchal system diminishes the position of women in the family.As Engels (1972) said,'patriarchy is an outcome of establishing father's rights after destroying mother's rights'.For many centuries,women have been considered as mere housewives working for their children and husbands (Gittins,1993).While men's centre of activity lay firmly outside the home,the house was the women's domain (Allan,1999).In Chinese,this is expressed as nanzhuwai (men outside) and nüzhunei (women inside) (Meng &Zhao,2003).This confirms that the role of women and man in marriage and in the family is very different and is linked to the division of labour between women and men.However,such a division of labour is different and unequal between the two sexes in the home.Even where both of the married couple work outside the home,research has shown that the woman does most of the work in the home.For example,professional urban women in China spend 21 hours/per week doing housework,while their husbands only do 8.7 hours/ per week (Gu,2005;Xia,2005).

This imbalance also links to the concept of 'men are breadwinners but women homemakers' (nanren yangjia,nüren chijia).In a recent study 72.2 per cent of females and 73.4 per cent of males agreed with the concept that 'husbands' success equals 'wives' success (Li,2001).While men's labour outside the home is rewarded by wages and salary that are measurable and visible,women's labour in the home is unpaid and undervalued;the role of women in the family is,therefore,invisible.As a result men enjoy the status of heroes in the home and wield authority and the other family members are expected to be obedient to them.This position of authority,entrusted to them by history and society,leads some to think that they,as husbands/fathers,can do what they like in the home.For example,they use violence against their wives and children,both physical and psychological,simply because of their ability to do so.Men are encouraged by society,culture and tradition to see themselves as superior to women,children and the elderly.

Although in most societies the increasing legal emancipation of women means that they can now work outside the home,married women continue to suffer oppression and exploitation both in and outside the home (Barrett &McIntosh,1982;Croll,1973;Vogel,1983).Wives are burdened with twofold tasks - housework and paid work.Working outside does not bring women emancipation from patriarchal authority although it may bring them relative economic independence (Gittins,1993);patriarchy continues to exist in society.Husbands may continue to think they are superior even when they are not the main breadwinner at home and have a lower status than their wives in society.Where it exists economic independence has not completely raised the position of women and has not put an end to domestic violence against women.Men continue to be influenced by patriarchy and continue to use violence as a tool to control their wives if they feel that their behaviour offends their interests.Specific cases will be described and explained in later chapters but numerous examples confirm that gender inequality also occurs between professional wives and husbands.