11.1　Impacts of psychological violence as conceptu...

11.1　Impacts of psychological violence as conceptualised by respondents

Through the analysis of my interview data,I found that the interviewees conceptualised these impacts similarly to the academics cited above,although they mainly or specifically focused on emotions and symptoms in their talk.They believed that both emotional and health impacts were caused by verbal and nonverbal abuse especially in relation to dirty language and non-communication.

11.1.1　Verbal behaviour and impact on emotions

Analysis of the interview data indicated that the respondents had very strong emotions when they experienced verbal abuse,such as use of dirty language against them.For example,W6 in Example 8^[1] said that she was very angry and sad and felt threatened when she experienced dirty language and shouting from her former husband.This made her be silent.In Example 14^[2],W4 felt angry and ashamed when her husband swore at her.Example 16^[3] shows that F4 felt ashamed when her husband abused her verbally,which led her to shutting the door and windows so the neighbours would not know.F2 in Example 17^[4] said that she became angry when her husbands used dirty language in conflict.

Example 37:F8 also expressed:

[He] used dirty language,intolerable to my ear,to abuse me.I was very disgusted with how he swore,and angry as well.

Example 38:F10 described how a combination of physical and verbal violence affected her:

...[there was a conflict] between us because he took domestic money to gamble.When I asked him to stop such behaviour,he threw a knife at the lower part of my body andused scurrilous verbal abuse against me....His behaviour made me very sad because I was disabled and could not stand without a walking stick.

Example 39:H1 said:

[My former wife and I] got married through someone recommending us.In fact,we did not know each other before our marriage because we only wrote letters to each other.She married with me because I worked in a city but she worked in the countryside after we graduated from the university.Through marriage,she could come back to the city.But she scolded me in her letters after our marriage before her coming back.At that time,I could not tolerate her behaviour.However,when our marriage was getting longer and longer,I felt pained but tolerant when she scolded me.

According to these interview data,we can see that use of dirty language against them led these interviewees to have strong and negative emotions.

Negative emotions resulting from use of dirty language was also reflected in the questionnaire data.Respondents were asked about the emotions they had as the result of experiencing dirty language.The main emotions were overwhelmingly 'anger' (52.3%,92/176),and to a lesser extent 'sadness'(22.7%,40/176),and 'insult' (9.1%,16/176).

Table 11.1.1 (a) 'When your spouse uses dirty language in a conflict,do you feel angry,sad or insulted (Q20^[5])?' by respondents:

Ekman (2003),talking about the impact of emotion,says that anger may cause actual physical changes in one's body.Its symptoms are rapid heart beats and raised blood pressure.Anger can contribute to risk factors for heart disease and even trigger life-threatening events^[6].But according to Table 11.1.1 (a),52.3 per cent of 176 respondents reported that they felt very angry when they suffered dirty language.This is worthy of concern because the proportion of this negative emotion in the survey is over 50 per cent.Ekman (2003) also suggests that sadness may be long-lasting.If a person suffers sadness,she or he may feel helpless,which may lead to mental disorder,e.g.going around in a daze.But this table shows that almost 23 per cent of the 176 respondents said that they felt very sad when they suffered dirty language.Tiedens and Leach (2004) state that feeling 'insult' may be painful because the individuals do not feel respected as a result of the behaviour.Such an emotion may directly influence the self-confidence and self-esteem of victims,namely make victims feel more inferiority.In the questionnaire data,nearly 10 per cent of the 176 respondents reported that they felt very insulted because of dirty language.The interview examples of Chapters 9 and 10 as well as F10's words are a good case in point.

Table 11.1.1 (b) looks at the gender pattern in these emotions.

Table 11.1.1 (b) 'When your spouse uses dirty language in a conflict,do you feel angry,sad,insulted?' by gender of respondents:

Table 11.1.1 (b) suggests that there is only a small difference between wives and husbands in the impact of dirty language used against them.Half (50%,42/84) of the male respondents said that such behaviour made them angry,while only slightly more women answered similarly (54.3%,50/92).The latter is 4.3 percentage points higher than the former.With regard to 'sadness',the proportion of the female respondents answering 'yes' to 'sad' is 22.8 per cent (21/92),while the proportion of the male respondents is virtually the same (22.6%,19/84).Concerning feeling'insulted',the proportion of the female respondents answering that they felt this is 9.8 per cent (9/83),and the proportion of the male respondents is almost the same(8.3%,7/84).These results cannot be compared to because in the interview data the female interviewees described their emotions when experiencing dirty language from their husbands,but only one husband (H1) did so.

According to the questionnaire data,both wives and husbands who took part in the survey had a strong response to 'dirty language'.In suffering this verbal behaviour,they said that they were angry,sad and or ashamed/insulted.It also suggests that both wives and husbands may have a similar degree of emotion when they suffered dirty language from their partners.These results indicate that there seems no obvious gender difference between wives and husbands in this respect.As discussed in Chapter 9,both female and male interviewees said that healthy communication at home is good for a happy marriage and family.But 'dirty language' as unhealthy communication influences conjugal life,which will lead them to having similar negative emotions.

The importance of domestic violence has been identified for health provision on a global scale (Williamson,2000) because The World Health Organisation (WHO) proposes that health reflects not only in diseases or weakness but also in the general health of the body,mentality and social associations (Yang,2003).In the light of my research,we can see that dirty language as a form of psychological violence may impact on victims' general wellbeing because the respondents reported that they had strong negative emotions on experiencing this behaviour.

Emotions have been recognised as an important topic because it can affect people's moods (Evans.2001),then in turn,it can impact on their bodily and mental health.Emotions can be divided into two types:positive and negative emotions.Positive emotions include happiness,joy,pleasure and excitement,while negative emotions include anger,sadness,anxiety and insult.As Evans and Cruse (2004) stress,emotions are socially constructed and vary across cultural boundaries.Even so,generally people want to experience positive emotions such as happiness and pleasantness,while the majority of them do not want to experience negative emotions such as anger,fear,or sadness (Ekman,2003).Good emotions may lead people to feel well or to laugh and sing but bad emotions may lead them to feel unwell or to cry and be silent.If having an anxiety,people are more easily frightened and if they are irritable,they are more readily angered.The interview data has revealed how negative emotions influenced the inteviewees.Usually,emotions connect to mental perceptions by the people concerned whose health may be impacted on by negative emotions (Evans,2001;Leighton,2003),which will be discussed in the next section.Different emotions therefore influence the quality of people's lives in different ways (Ekman,2003:xi).Their health will be affected if they have negative emotions.

There is a very important gap between the survey and the interviews in my data on this subject.The interview data suggests that wives were the main victims in verbal abuse,e.g.dirty language,and had very strong emotions when they suffered verbal abuse by their husbands.The questionnaire data suggests that wives and husbands experienced these emotions similarly.As described above,the female interviewees spoke about their emotions in this abuse but only one male interviewee did so.It is possible either that the men did not want to reveal their feelings in the interviews or that they had not suffered from them.The emotions caused by psychological domestic violence may therefore have different meanings for both wives and husbands.

Women/wives may have these emotions because dirty language makes references to the female sex organs or physical characteristics,and other forms of 'bad' language (Hughes,1991;Tu,2005) as emphasised in Chapter 4.This is also reflected in the interview data (See Section 9.2.2).When facing dirty language from their husbands,wives may feel very angry because their husbands see them as animals but not human beings (as narrated by F2^[7]).Husbands appear not to respect their wives.Wives may feel sad because they cannot believe that their husbands,who promise to love and safeguard them,abuse them verbally (as narrated by W6^[8],F4^[9] and F10^[10]).Husbands appear to destroy the happy family environment by such behaviour.Wives may feel insulted because their husbands use such scurrilous words to abuse them(as narrated by W4,W6,F2,F4,F8 and F10).Husbands seem to use 'bad' language to humiliate their wives.

Because few husbands in the interviews discussed these issues,there is a problem in explaining the differences between the interviews and the survey.It is possible that men/husbands may have these emotions because their patriarchal position in the home may be shaken.For example,H1's words imply that he had an important contribution in their family:his former wife could come back to the city because of him.However,in turn,she argued with and abused him verbally.When facing dirty language by their wives,husbands perhaps feel very angry because their wives dare rebel against them and are not obedient to them,which goes against the notion of'men as dominant but women as subordinate'.In the interview data,H1 said that he felt very pained when facing verbal abuse from his former wife but he did not use'anger' to describe his feeling.However,he might actually be angry because he used working away every year to punish her.This shows that he held power over her.Husbands perhaps feel sad because they are afraid that their family position/power may be weakened if their wives dare argue with them,in particular if they dare use such language in conflict.For example,H9^[11] considered that wives should be good house wives and do not seek to be over others in the home and outside it.Husbands perhaps feel insulted because their wives dare attack the traditional culture:'women as nice women do not use dirty language' (Goddad &Patterson,2000) so that husbands feel their self-esteem is lost.They seemed to become 'fearing wives' men(pa laopo) (Zhao,et al,1994).

Through the analysis and discussion,we can see that gender inequality and ideas about it may have an impact on emotions experienced by wives and husbands in conflict.Negative emotions will impact on both victims and perpetrators' wellbeing and health.

11.1.2　Health impacts of psychological violence

This section will present and discuss 'health' impacts of psychological violence,which cannot be neglected when we investigate how wives and husbands experience such violence.This is because health is very important for people as mentioned before.However,what is 'health'? The WHO^[12] defines that:

[Health] refers to the physical,psychological and social aspects of all three to good condition,and not merely the absence of illness or physical robust.

(WHO,1978)

The Penguin Dictionary defines that:

[Health] means soundness of body,mind,or spirit and the general condition of the body.

(Allen,2001:644)

Fernando (1991) states that:

[Health] is not merely the converse of illness and mental health is generallyconceptualized as something wider than the absence of mental illness.

(Fernando,1991:76)

According to their definitions,we can see that the WHO's (1978) definition is linked not only to physical and psychological aspects but also to social aspect.The Penguin Dictionary's (Allen,2001) definition is similar to the former.Fernando(1991) focuses on the wider health meaning,which similar to the WHO.It indicates that we need to think about health issues within the context of society and we should not focus only on illness.Through this brief look at these definitions,I found that I should look at these health problems by psychological domestic violence within the context of gender,or society as elaborated in Part II.

Through analysis of the interview data,I found that the female interviewees who experienced psychological violence said that their health was affected by this violence.This impact reflected both in their bodily and mental health.Their descriptions are as follows:

Example 40:W4 said that:

...[His verbal abuse] hurt my personality.Such behaviour made my body hurt and I developed mastitis ....(Compare also F13 in Example 46)

From Example 40,we can see that W4 was impacted on by her husband's verbal abuse.She said that she felt her body hurt,which may be a serious problem because this may lead victims to do everything without energy,so that,victims cannot concentrate on their work and living.She also said that she contracted mastitis as result,which may link to other Chinese studies such as those of Han et al.(2006) and Li et al.(2003) who suggest that domestic violence apparently impacts on women's sexuality and their sexual reproduction.

Example 41:F2 also talked about her experience:

[After] I heard such abusive words (described in Example 17^[13]),my heart was attacked seriously....

This phenomenon is also reflected in my quantitative data.Table 11.1.2 (a) looks at gender pattern in the effect of conflict on the heart rate.

Table 11.1.2 (a) 'During a conflict between you and your spouse,does your heart beat fast and become painful?' (Q50) by gender of respondents:

From Table 11.1.2 (a),we can see firstly that this impact occurs frequently for both wives and husbands (57.8%,115/199).There is a small difference between wives and husbands,with 59.4 per cent (63/106) of female respondents reported that they experienced increased heart beat and pain,while 55.4 per cent (52/93) of the male respondents experienced this.The former is 3.5 percentage points higher than the latter.This result suggests that wives might experience the heart problem caused by domestic violence slightly more than their husbands.

Table 11.1.2 (b) provides more detail results dealing with a heart problem by gender pattern.

Table 11.1.2 (b) 'During a conflict between you and your spouse,does your heart beat fast and is painful?' (Q50) by gender of respondents:

From Table 11.1.2 (b),we can see that the difference in this impact between wives and husbands becomes more obvious if more nuanced responses are taken into account.In respect to 'yes',27.4 per cent of the female respondents (29/106) said that they suffered this impact,while 20.4 per cent of the male respondents(19/93) said that they did so.The former is 7 percentage points higher than the latter.With regard to 'sometimes',the proportion of females is 32.1 per cent(34/106),whereas the proportion of males is 35.5 per cent (33/93).The latter is 3.4 percentage points slightly higher than the former,which suggests that women experienced rapid heart beats (associated with fear or anger) more often than men.

From both Tables 11.1.2 (a) and (b),we can see that a domestic conflict between wives and husbands might impact frequently on their heart rate.We can also see that there is a possible slight gender difference in this impact between wives and husbands.The survey result suggests that wives' heart rates might be impacted on to a greater extent in spousal conflict.

Why is there a difference in this impact between wives and husbands? As elaborated in the previous chapters,women/wives' position is lower than men/ husbands as constructed by society and history.Examples in Chapters 9 and 10 have shown that the wives chose 'shutting the windows and doors' to respond the abuse from their husbands.Their behaviour might reflect their fear and anxiety (Bo et al.,1998) because they did not know how long their husbands' violence lasted or what degree of this violence would reach,which impacted on their heart rate.

Because husbands in the survey did not discuss these issues,there is a problem in explaining the differences between wives and husbands.It is possible that men/ husbands considered that they should dominate their wives,but they could not believe that their wives dared argue with them.As the examples in Chapters 9 and 10 showed,the female respondents said that their husbands shouted and swore at them or did not communicate with them.Their behaviour might reflect their anger and hatred because they wanted to control their wives,which resulted in their heart beating fast.

Psychological domestic violence might also impact on victims in other ways.Some Chinese academics propose that such violence may cause obvious bodily symptoms such as dizziness,headache,stomach ache,and so on.For example,according to Bo et al.'s (1998) survey,107 cases showed that the victims had these symptoms in relation to headache,stomachache,etc.83 cases showed the symptoms in relation to change of appetite and sleep.My investigation also revealed these effects.For example,W1 said that non-verbal abuse by her former husband impacted on her stomach and sleeplessness,while F4 suffered headaches and earache because of her husband's violence.Their descriptions are as follows:

Example 42:W1 said that:

[My former husband] did not communicate and cold-shouldered me at home,which led to pain in my stomach and to sleeplessness.

Example 43:F4 said that:

[Domestic violence] used by my former husband gave me headaches and earache.

These impacts are also reflected in my questionnaire data although the gender differences are much less striking.Table 11.1.2 (c) looks at gender pattern in a health impact.

Table 11.1.2 (c) 'Because your spouse does not communicate with you,do you feel so lonely that your stomach hurts (Q52) by gender of respondents:

From Table 11.1.2 (c),we can see firstly that a third of respondents (33%,67/203) experienced such impact because of non-communication,but two thirds of the respondents (67%,136/203) did not.From this table,we can also see that there is only a small difference in this particular impact between wives and husbands.For example,in respect to 'yes including sometimes',the proportion of females is 35.1 per cent (39/111),which is 4.7 percentage points higher than the proportion of males,which is 30.4 per cent (28/92).These results therefore suggest that wives in my survey might suffer this impact slightly more than their husbands,whereas the results from the interviews would suggest a greater difference according to gender.

As stated in medical science,the stomach organ plays a great role in the digestive system because its function is on primary digestion of foods (Wang,2001).Because of stomach pain,the desire to eat may reduce or a person may eat less,therefore,they may have insufficient energy and stomach disease may possibly result,which impacts on people's health as well as their lives.In relation to this impact,wives tend to be the main victims according to these data.

Table 11.1 2 (d) looks at the gender pattern in the impacts:not sleeping and headache.

Table 11.1.2 (d) 'After a conflict between you and your spouse,do you lose sleep and get headache (Q51)?'by gender of respondents:

From Table 11.1.2 (d),we can see the reported impacts on wives and husbands in relation to 'not sleeping' and 'headache'.More than a third of respondents said that conflict in their relationship led to them 'not sleeping' (35.3%,67/190).Just under a quarter suffered 'headache' (23.2%,44/190).

From this table,we can see again that there is a difference in these impacts between wives and husbands.This table shows that 39.2 per cent of the female respondents (40/102) and 30.7 per cent of the male respondents (27/88) reported that they experienced 'not sleeping'.The former is 8.5 percentage points higher than the latter.However,with regard to 'headache',the proportion are reversed,with 19.6 per cent (20/102) of the female respondents and 27.3 per cent (24/88) of the male respondents answering 'yes' to this question.The latter is 7.7 percentage points higher than the former.

We can therefore see that spousal conflict may lead to symptoms of not being able to sleep or of getting a headache.Both the qualitative and quantitative data have shown that individuals suffered an impact of 'not sleeping' because of domestic violence.In respect to 'sleeping',it is very important in people's lives because good sleeping,as stated by academics and practitioners (Piao,2005),can adjust physiological function and maintain balance of nerve^[14].If lacking sleep,people may feel giddy and tired,which may cause mental health problems.Sleeping is important for health,work and study (Ding,2007;Yi,2007).It is important to note that Table 11.1.2 (d) suggests that a third of the respondents experienced this impact because of domestic violence.

With regard to 'headaches',this cannot be neglected in people's lives (Yi,2007) because'headache' impacts not only on people's psychological and emotional health but also on their mental abilities^[15].This impact may also relate to health issues in relation to high blood pressure,insomnia,heart disease,mental diseases,etc.However,both interview and questionnaire data show this impact for both wives and husbands.In particular,husbands in my survey say that they would be likely to have a headache after a domestic conflict.

Through the analysis,we can firstly see that these symptoms may be closely linked to the nervous system.This means that psychological violence may have direct impacts on people's psychological or mental health.In particular,women are affected to be the main victims in this aspect.As shown in Chapter 2,some women considered that domestic violence impacts more seriously on their psychology than on their bodily health (Li et al.,2003).The interview data shows that wives developed stomach aches and headaches and could not sleep when suffering psychological domestic violence,while the questionnaire data suggests that wives might be more likely to suffer a 'sleep' issue,which matched the interview data,and men might be more likely to suffer a 'headache' issue.My study design did not allow me to consider why this did not match the interview data.

Because wives and husbands in the survey did not discuss these results,there is a problem in explaining the difference between the interview and the survey data.It is possible that in respect to 'sleeping',wives were sleepless because they were in a state of long-term nervousness,anxiety and fear by such violence.As the survey by Zhang et al.'s (2002) shows,91 per cent of 112 victims experienced a 'sleeping' problem.In addition,this problem may imply that wives are inferior to their husbands as discussed in the previous chapters.Wives worried about broken family because they would feel difficult to live without husbands or to remarry as shown in some examples in Chapters 9 and 10.They usually chose to tolerate the violence from their husbands.Their passive behaviour may lead to being sleepless,which matches the previous studies.For example,one woman said that her nerve became more sensitive and weaker when she suffered domestic violence.In order to keep marriage with her husbands,she was sleepless from one night to another (Yang &Jiang,2006),which shows that she tolerated such violence.Tong's (2000) study in Chapter 2 also revealed this.

With regard to 'headache',27.3 per cent of the male respondents (24/88) reported that they had this experience when there was a conflict between them and their wives.It is possible that husbands did not believe that their wives dared argue with them and that they considered that they were a centre in the family and dominated wives as shown in the examples in Chapter 9 and 10.The traditional culture may still be left in their mind as discussed in the previous chapters.In men's eyes,'good' wives should be gentle and cannot argue with their husbands,which has been shown in the interview data.However,their wives behaviour was opposite their views,which seemed to threaten their domestic power.Accordingly,they might be anger,pained and tolerated as H1 in Example 39 said,which led them to headache.The interview data revealed that husbands abuse their wives seriously,and their anger at them.

As discussed in the above,Wang (2006) also suggests that domestic violence impacts not only on victims' bodily health but also particularly on their psychological and mental health.Through the analysis,symptoms such as stomach ache,headache and insomnia are relevant to nervous system.In the WHO's definition of 'health',psychology or mental is one of three aspects,which means that mental health is important for people.Fernando (1991) said that normal mental health can be defined in terms of culturally determined perceptions of people,their behaviour,feelings and cognitions.Apparently,we need to stand within the context of society and look at this health issue.

Through looking at the interview data,I found that psychological violence directly impacted on the victim's mental health because some interviewees talked about this.F7 in Examples 44 and F15 in 45 (below) showed that they went around in a daze because of experiencing such violence.Their descriptions are as follows:

Example 44:F7 said that:

[I] could not tolerate such psychological torture because of the 'cold' war from my former husband.His long-term anger and non-communication made me go around in a daze.My mind nearly collapsed.I lost my self-worth and self-confidence....

Example 45:F15^[16] who had completed Junior School,at the age of fifty was a saleslady in the supermarket.She said that:

[I] suffered domestic violence from my husband,which caused me to go around in a daze....His beating,swearing and cheating made me sad and desperate....

In the survey,Table 11.1.2 (e) examines the gender pattern of this mental impact.

Table 11.1.2 (e) 'Because your spouse often put down you at home and in public,do you go around in a daze (Q53)?' by gender of respondents:

From Table 11.1.2 (e),we can see firstly that nearly one quarter of respondents had such an experience (23%,44/191).In relation to gender,there is a slight difference between wives and husbands,with greater impact on husbands.In respect to 'yes including sometimes',the proportion of females reporting such symptoms is 21.4 per cent (22/103),while the proportion of males is 25 per cent (22/88).The latter is 3.6 percentage points higher than the former.This result suggests that husbands in my survey may go around in a daze as a result of psychological abuse more often than their wives.By contrast,although it is not conclusive evidence,the interview data suggests that wives might be the main victims of this impact because none of husbands reported this.

'Going around in a daze' is a typical mental symptom.If people get this problem,they cannot concentrate on doing something because they may forget this and that(Liu,2007).They may speak incoherently and may lose their self-confidence.As F7 conceptualised,non-communication by her former husband made her go around in a daze.She said continuously:

'Within this context,I lost my self-esteem.No matter what the decisions I could not make them because I did not know how to do so.Within this context,I lost my self-confidence because I considered that my ability in any aspect was lower than for my former husband.

In some cases,women's memory seems to have been effected:F2 and F15 who suffered domestic violence,when I interviewed them,often forgot what they had said and asked me to remind them.This impact of 'going around in a daze' may disturb victims' lives seriously,which may cause a health issue for them because this symptom may develop into a more serious 'mental disorder' finally (Han et al.,2006).The interview data reveals that wives may likely be to going around in a daze.As discussed before,women/wives are inferior to men/husbands constructed by society.They are therefore the main victims of psychological domestic violence.Because of the long-term abuse,they will get health issues in relation to physical and mental aspects as shown in Walby et al.'s (2004) study.

Comparing the interview data to the questionnaire data,we can see,again,that there is a gap between them.Because none of the husbands in the interviews discuss this issue,there is a problem in explaining the differences between the interview and the survey.It is possible that men/husbands did not believe that their wives often put down them in the home and in public,which destroyed their self-esteem and lost their 'face' because they are men.This may be linked to 'ridicule' discussed in Chapter 10.Wives behaviour might make them depressed,which caused their going around in a daze.

11.1.3　The impact of 'third party' relationships

The experience of the spouse having a 'third party' relationship was another type of behaviour identified in earlier chapters as a form of psychological violence.The interviewees also talked about the impact of such experiences.

Example 46:F13^[17] was thirty-one years old and completed Senior School.Her marriage and family were broken because of domestic violence.She said that:

[My former husband] divorced me because of his new lover,which hurt me psychologically.I remembered that I was at the time of breast-feeding when he proposed divorce.I was so sad for his betraying me,leaving me alone and angry at home,that this led to a shortage of milk for my son.Therefore,my son seriously lacked calcium.My husband's behaviour hurt me in both body and mental health.

Example 47:F14 said that:

[My husband] abused me psychologically because he had a third party relationship,stayed less at home and did not communicate with me.In particular he stole money in the home.I wanted to divorce him but he did not agree with me doing so.His behaviour hurt me seriously so that I was melancholy,which led me to getting the disease – womb tumor.

From Examples 46 to 47,we can see that F13 conceptualised her issue in both body and mental health because of the 'third party' relationship of her former husband.Because of this,she felt so sad that she had a shortage of milk for her son,which led to her son seriously lacking calcium.F14 also expressed that her health issue was reflected in mental and physical aspect.She felt melancholy,which she believed led her to getting a tumour in her womb.Their experiences may match the previous studies because some Chinese academics such as Han et al.(2006) and Li et al.(2003) suggest that domestic violence will impact on victims' bodily and mental health as well as on women's sexuality and sexual reproduction.

Through this analysis,we can see that wives who were affected by the third party relationship got bodily and mental problems.These problems directly impacted on their families and lives.The questionnaire survey did not include direct questions about 'third party' relationships and any impact and the questionnaire data is therefore not discussed here.