4.3　Gender inequality in communication

4.3　Gender inequality in communication

As described above,there are differences in the usage of language by women and men.What causes these differences? Feminists suggest these may relate to differences in power and resources and to gender inequality (Cameron,1992).Language abuse is a case in point.The abusers use certain types of language in order to control the victim/target (Tu,2005),and this is a reflection of relative power.In China it is usually women who are the targets of abusive language(Fang,2005),and this can be seen as an issue of gender.Why does power and gender inequality occur in communications between women and men? Let us look at these issues from the perspective of history and culture.

As was also discussed earlier,because of historical factors,there are differences in the division of labour between women and men.Men are generally the principal breadwinners and their work is usually economically and socially valued,while women's work in the home is usually not.The inequality of the division of labour gives apparent legitimacy to men's domination of women.As a result,the position of women,in comparison to that of men,is inferior in both family and in society.

In China,Confucian ideas were hugely influential for many centuries and its ideology is still firmly rooted in people's minds today,and in men's minds in particular.In the family,a model wife will be praised by her husband and in-laws and admired by her neighbours,friends and the colleagues of her husband for being genial and devoted.She will not express any views on any issues or argue with her husband and she will tolerate anything her husband does to her,including domestic violence.Her husband will say that she should be obedient and should not argue with him if he violates her and that his beating or scolding of her is actually a result of his love for her.We may infer that gender inequality causes such a difference in communication between wives and husbands but why is there gender inequality between women and men?

As discussed previously,Eckert and McConnell-Ginet (2003) have argued that sex is a biological categorisation based on reproductive potential,while gender is the social elaboration of biological sex.Gender is a system of meaning which construes notions of female and male,and builds on biological sex,exaggerating biological difference and carrying biological difference into new territory.Language is the primary means through which we maintain or contest meanings,and construct or resist new ones.For example,it can be argued that girls and boys live in different sub-cultures analogous to the distinct sub-cultures of those from different classes or ethnic backgrounds.They grow up,therefore,with different conventions in verbal and non-verbal interaction and in social interaction generally.

From observing children's play,we can suggest why there are differences in language usage between boys and girls.As Tannen (1990) noted,girls usually play indoors and in small groups or in pairs,while boys tend to play outside and in larger groups.The focus of a girl's social life is a best friend,whereas the centre of a boy's social life is the group leader.Within girls' groups intimacy is at the core,but domination is at the core in boys' groups.Large groups of boys are usually hierarchically structured.With the dominant member telling the others what to do and how to do it,he resists doing what other boys propose,thereby,keeping his high status in the groups.In China girls typically play games such as jump rope and hopscotch in which everyone gets a turn,whereas boys often play with sticks and guns,dividing into two sides,'red' and 'blue' armies,to fight.From these very different activities,we can see that girls' games involve winners or losers or the giving and taking of orders less frequently,while boys' games generally result in winners and losers and involve elaborate rules that are frequently the subject of arguments.Boys are boastful and argue about who is best at what,telling stories and jokes in an effort to be the centre of attention.Girls sit together and talk and seem less concerned with jockeying for status and more concerned with what they like.Boy's behaviour is much more challenging than girls' and it is apparent that relative power seems to be an important part in boys' sub-cultures but much less so in girls'.It could therefore be argued that the notion of power starts to root in boys' mind at a very early stage.Through the influence of such a sub-culture,they will seek to control others in their relationships,and this will include women.Husbands will often use physical or psychological violence against their wives if their wives offend their interests.Through their sub-culture,girls will be less aggressive than boys and the majority of women will keep silent and tolerate their husbands' violence.The idea appears that males are naturally rough and aggressive,while females are gentle and passive and women's relative physical weakness helps men to get away with domestic violence.

As Eckert and McConnell-Ginet (2003:1) point out,'language itself is a tool of oppression'.Linguistic suppression is often 'a purposeful male activity' (Cameron,1992:145).Men control language because they created it (Spender,1985).Men have constructed social arrangements which privilege them and tend to result in their maintaining power over women.Everything,including language,works largely in their interests (Spender,1980).The use of swearing or dirty language by men is a case in point.As some academics have observed,domestic language abuse can happen all too easily between wives and husbands (Fang,2005).

Silence is a form of non-verbal communication which again reveals the differences in communication between women and men,and between wives and husbands in particular.In China silence on the part of wives often results from being offended by or being ridiculed by their husbands.In China women live under longterm restraint in a masculine culture where traditionally women are not taught skills and female work is not valued.According to custom,women should not express opinions and are forbidden to speak in public (Kramarae^[1],1981).Women risk being punished physically or psychologically by men or their husbands for arguing with them and may be fearful that they may suffer more serious violence if they speak out.For these reasons,their silence may be seen as passive.

On the other hand,husbands' silence may be seen as aggressive.Men have more power in communication and often use it to control wives.For example,one husband used non-communication at home in order to force his wife to divorce.She could not tolerate this non-verbal abuse and they were eventually divorced(Yang &Ye,2002).This has also been reflected in my research data and will be discussed later.

Non-verbal communication between women and men may,therefore,also express subordination and dominance.Women and men are not equally able to say what they want,when and where and how they want to (Kramarae,1981).Silence between women and men,either within the family or in social contexts,is not neutral.Men may have more power than women in both verbal and in non-verbal communication.