Fifth Chinese Daughter
(Excerpts)
2
THE WORLD GROWS
One day when the family was at dinner, father broke the habitual silence by announcing a new edict: “I have just learned that the American people commonly address their fathers informally as ‘Daddy’! The affectionate tone of this word pleases me.Hereafter, you children shall address me as ‘Daddy.’” No comment was required; the children mentally recorded this command.
When she was six, Jade Snow’s world expanded beyond her family life.Daddy started her in an American public grade school.Before she left home, Daddy and Mother both took her aside and gave her solemn instructions: “Jade Snow, at school a teacher will be in charge, who is as your mother or your father at home.She is supreme, and her position in all matters pertaining to your education is as indisputable as the decisions of your mother or father at home.Respect her accordingly.”
Thus, Jade Snow accepted another authority in her life.The schoolteacher was a little Chinese lady dressed in foreign clothes.She spoke the foreign “English” language, although when necessary she could explain in Chinese to her pupils.However, she discouraged them from speaking their accustomed language.
Although Miss Chew had the authority of one’s parents and occasionally scolded some pupil who overlooked this fact, she never spanked anybody! School life was comparatively simple, since for some hours each day Jade Snow became less actively concerned with what was proper or improper.In fact, she sometimes became actively concerned with what was really fun to do!
New games in the foreign language were learned—“Farmer in the Dell，”[2] “Go Walking Round the Valley，” “London Bridge Is Falling Down.”[3] Instead of learning about the virtuous Wellington as a boy， Jade Snow memorized a poem about Jack and Jill[4] who climbed a hill to get water but somehow lost it all.
Instead of opening on the left-hand side and reading from right to left in vertical rolls like Chinese books, the new books with gay, colored pictures opened on the right-hand side and were read horizontally from left to light.
One of the most memorable events occurred one afternoon when Miss Chew brought several cases of whipping cream to class.Each pupil received a jar of cream fitted with a wooden disk on a stick.Miss Chew announced, “We are going to make butter.”
Butter? Wasn’t that what one bought at a store in a cube, wrapped with paper? Did one ever “make” it? Jade Snow remembered her mother’s words, “Never question the actions of your teacher.” So she followed instructions without asking any question.
After the cream had been churned for some time, sure enough, yellow flecks appeared, and then joined and thickened into a lump of butter! Jade Snow experienced a wonderful new feeling—the pride of personal creation.And when she smeared her own butter made with her own hands on the crackers Miss Chew provided, she thought that she had never tasted anything more delicious in all her life!
School brought new experiences with other Chinese children.During recess， Jade Snow learned to play hopscotch，[5] and to memorize new Chinese and English rhymes which were chanted to find who should be“It” for games of hide-and-seek or tag.
To these pleasant experiences were added her first major problems with other children.There was the day, for instance, when a bigger girl hit her with her fists.In Jade Snow, pain was mingled with confusion.Girls never hit other girls.They might argue, take things away from another, but only little boys were expected to be rough enough for fist fights! At least,that was what Mother and Daddy had taught her.Nevertheless, Jade Snow’s first impulse was to strike back.But she seemed to hear her mother’s familiar reminder, “Even if another should strike you, you must not strike him, for then your guilt would be as great as his.”
While Jade Snow controlled her fists, she burst into tears for relief and ran home.Mama’s explanation as she wiped her daughter’s tears was that not all Chinese girls were brought up like herself, and some had little family training.
Attendance at an American school did not mean that Jade Snow’s Chinese lessons ceased.Shortly after she had entered Miss Chew’s class,Daddy told her:
“From this day until I see fit to place you in the Chinese evening school, I shall continue to give you half an hour of Chinese instruction every morning before you go to the American public classes.Years ago,when your Oldest Sister Swallow was a child like you, the Chinese schools in Chinatown were not open to girls.Your sister rose daily al six in the morning, washed her face, combed her braids, and studied Chinese with me for an hour before breakfast.Now she knows enough Chinese to write a learned letter to China.”
“Why were not the Chinese schools open to her?” Jade Snow asked wonderingly, as she laid out on their dining table her tablets, brush, inkpad,and first reader.
Daddy explained, “Many Chinese were very short-sighted.They felt that since their daughters would marry into a family of another name, they would not belong permanently in their own family clan.Therefore, they argued that it was not worthwhile to invest in their daughters’ book education.But my answer was that since sons and their education are of primary importance, we must have intelligent mothers.If nobody educates his daughters, how can we have intelligent mothers for our sons? If we do not have good family training, how can China be a strong nation?”
Daddy had forgotten his daughter and seemed to address a larger audience as he stared off into space.
“Confucius said, ‘He who is filial toward elders and fraternal toward brothers and is fond of offending his superiors is rare indeed; he who is not fond of offending his superiors and is fond of making revolutions has never been known.’
“So you see, the peace and stability of a nation depend upon the proper relationships established in the home; and to a great extent, the maintenance of proper relationships within the home depends on intelligent mothers.Now l do not want you ever to question why you should study Chinese,” finished Daddy.
So they resumed their lesson.They opened the first reader, entitled Instruction Book to Preserve the National Grammar for the Use of the First Grade.
The first lesson taught: “One, Two, Three,” but this gradually advanced to:
“Big and Little Sisters return home after school.Big Sister in her room teaches Little Sister to do women’s work.”
Many subjects were embraced in this primer, from lessons in nature to lessons in ethics.They varied from:
“In the little garden the flowers bloom gloriously.Butterflies come in pairs; they fly in coming and fly in going”; to the last lesson in the book,which was:
“Come, come, come.Come and read books.If you do not study your books, you will not know written words.If you do not know written words,you will have a life of sorrow.”
This primer constituted only a portion of Jade Snow’s lessons.For Daddy also had a book with illustrated lessons on the principles of correct calligraphy.One did not lay down just any stroke as one pleased.First, one must hold one’s brush in exactly the correct position.Next, it was necessary to proceed with each stroke in the proper order.Finally, the completed character should be correctly balanced in a square.
Daddy turned to the first page of the book, now golden brown with age.Its paper was thin, and its corners curled a little from frequent thumbing by Jade Snow’s predecessors in learning.The right margin had been punched with holes about a half inch from the edge, and at two-inch intervals; the book was handbound with cord threaded through these holes.It had been printed in China with wood type, and the title was still quite legible, The Practice of Writing Is in Fact Easy.
The first page discussed the way to hold a brush correctly.The illustration showed that one’s fingers should be curved in a continuous fluid line, with the brush held flexibly between the thumb and third finger,while the index and middle finger rested gently on it.In fact, it was much like holding a chopstick.
“When holding the brush, you must not pull your fingers tightly against your palm.Your fingers should be relaxed, curved outward with a hollow space between their graceful line and your palm,” Daddy admonished.
Jade Snow corrected herself, but after a few strokes—there were her fingers, with brush clutched hard and tight against her palm again!
She swept a sidelong glance at Daddy.Without a word, he tore off a corner of the newspaper they had spread on the table under their work.He rolled up the paper into the size and shape of a walnut, stuffed the ball between his daughter’s curved fingers and palm.
“Now begin again.”
The newspaper ball really helped.Her fingers just rested on it, and were blocked into the correct, curved position.Soon she was able to train her fingers to work freely, eliminating altogether the paper-ball crutch.
Daddy now introduced her to the second page, which concerned the correct procedure in forming a character.Each stroke of the one word which filled the entire page was labeled numerically to show which stroke should be brushed in first.The principle in brushing a character was that one always proceeded from top to bottom and worked from left to right.
Daddy emphasized, “Once you learn how to brush a character correctly and beautifully, it will always be yours, no matter how old you grow to be.You may not remember the pronunciation of a word, or the lines of a poem memorized, but you can never brush a character off-balance once you have learned to brush it right.”
Thus, Jade Snow, with her brush held correctly, dipped its tip upon her inkpad and began the stroke to her first word, pronounced “wing,”which means “forever” and looks like this:
A long time was spent on this word.It embodied the elementary stroke technique of starting her brush in a point at the tip, applying pressure for strength and stroke expansion, and then gradually decreasing the pressure toward the end of the stroke in order to end with the tip of the brush in a point again.The criteria for skilled calligraphy included not only proper placement of the strokes, but also “power,” which was the soul of the character.
Jade Snow learned not only how to use her brush; she was also taught how to care for it properly.She learned that in “opening” a stiff new brush,she should get a dish of cold water and slowly roll the point back and forth until the bird bristles fanned out freely.A brush should always be opened up to its base to get maximum action.After using ink, a brush must be rinsed gently again in water, and carefully recapped.Daddy always discarded the hollow bamboo casing, because it permitted a brush to dry hard and stiff.Instead, he used a brass casing, which would keep a brush flexible and damp until another day’s brushing.
“Mama, how long do I still have to go to school?” seven-year-old Jade Snow asked one morning after summer vacation was over and she was preparing to return to the public grade school for the fall semester.
Mama was busy putting breakfast on the table.“You have just begun.After your sixth year at this school you are attending, there will be another six years at some other school farther away, where you will have to go by streetcar.After six years there, you will graduate from ‘middle school.’Then some people are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to go to college, which continues for another four years.”
Jade Snow started on her hot breakfast of fresh-cooked rice, boiled salt fish sprinkled with peanut oil and shredded ginger root, soup with mustard greens, and steamed preserved duck eggs with chopped pork.While she ate, she tried to digest the fact that she would have to spend practically all her life in school.Six and six and four more—a total schooling of sixteen years! She could not imagine what fourteen more years would be like.
Daddy, who concentrated on his Chinese newspapers at all meals, had the remarkable ability of knowing at the same time and in detail all that was said or done at the table.Now he looked up to add his comment:
“Some people who take up a profession study at college six or more years.But you are a girl, so you need not worry about that.It will not be necessary for you to go to college.”
Jade Snow was relieved that she would only have to complete middle school.
The third grade offered her two new fields of exploration: painting and the “times tables.” While Jade Snow had learned to handle the Chinese brush securely, Daddy had severely nipped her early efforts to draw pictures instead of square characters.“You can learn nothing from your own pictures,” he had reprimanded.Now in the low-third grade she was encouraged to draw.She decided that the American school was going to be continuously different in more and more ways from Chinese studies and that there would be little point in wondering why.Even American brushes were different, with very long wooden handles, and short, stiff bristles.Painting was great fun, because no one told Jade Snow what to do or how to do it!
Their arithmetic lessons were on little cards neatly printed with various “times tables.” Jade Snow found the figures of these cards interesting to learn and mastered all of them up to 12×12.
At the end of the semester the teacher showed Jade Snow that her report card bore the notation “Promoted from grade 3A to grade 4A.” She had skipped a grade! She marched over to the new building with the 3B’s and left her 3A friends behind.The teacher and her friends all seemed very much excited, and Jade Snow caught their excitement.Evidently, skipping a grade was not an ordinary accomplishment.
That afternoon, when Jade Snow returned home from school, she ran to Daddy happily and asked him to sign her report card.Daddy made his usual careful study of her grades and signed his usual painstaking signature in English.
“Daddy, did you notice that I have skipped a grade? I am going to a new building! I have been promoted two grades.Isn’t it—”
Daddy quietly stopped the child’s rush of excited words, “That is as it should be.” That was all he said, with finality.
“Yes, Daddy,” and Jade Snow suddenly lost her afternoon’s excitement.She wandered off in search of Mother.Mother was putting buttons on some coveralls.She tried a new approach, “Mamma.I learned my lessons so well that I am promoted two grades, and now it will be only thirteen more years of school instead of thirteen and a half more years.”
“What did your father say?” was Mother’s only spoken reaction.
“He said, ‘That is as it should be,’” Jade Snow replied, crushed.
“Your father was right,” was all Mamma said, also with finality.
In 4A almost all the children were nearly nine years of age, while Jade Snow was barely eight.A year’s difference meant that they talked about different things and acted differently.The main difference was that 4A was organized into two crowds, Mabel’s and Jeanie’s.Jade Snow went with Mabel’s crowd.During recess they would cluster about Mabel,whispering, whispering about nothing in particular.The important thing,however, was to continue these whispers, because Jeanie’s crowd always whispered around her.The very worst fate was to have your own crowd“mad” at you.Unswerving loyalty was demanded by both leaders, but one day Lily Lum in Mabel’s crowd was seen on cordial terms with Jeanie herself! That would never do.Mabel singled Jade Snow out to give Lily the push which meant that they were “mad” at her.Jade Snow did not want to do this; after all, maybe their mothers were friends, or they might be neighbors, Lily and Jeanie.
Mabel demanded the reason for Jade Snow’s hesitation: “Are you afraid?”
“Oh, no ...” How did Mama’s instructions apply to this situation?“Oh, no ...I am not afraid, but wouldn’t it mean more if we all went together?”
This appealed to Mabel’s imagination, and thus it was that during recess they twined their arms around each other and sailed up in a body to Lily to give her the push of defiance that would banish her from their crowd.
The introduction of a group standard which differed from her home teaching was perplexing to Jade Snow, but she concluded that it would be easier to conform to group action than to enter a one-voice argument against it.
Miss Mullohand, her new teacher, was quite the loveliest person that Jade Snow had ever known.She had wavy, blonde hair, fair skin, and blue eyes, and her manner was gentle.Jade Snow always remembered one experience with her.
Sometimes after school a group of girls would play baseball in the schoolyard, while Miss Mullohand acted as umpire.Jade Snow did not do well in such games because Mama always discouraged physically active games as unbecoming for girls.When Jade Snow had wanted to climb upon signposts as other children did, Mama had made her sit down to embroider bureau scarves.However, one day when she was watching the game from the sidelines, an enthusiastic batter carelessly flung her bat,straight against Jade Snow’s hand.As Jade Snow cried out, the teacher was there.She leaned down and held Jade Snow closely, rubbing her fingers,wiping the tears which fell involuntarily as the pain gradually flowed into her numb hand.
It was a very strange feeling to be held to a grown-up foreign lady’s bosom.She could not remember when Mama had held her to give comfort.Daddy occasionally picked her up as a matter of necessity, but he never embraced her impulsively when she required consolation.In fact, when she was hurt either inside or outside, it was much better not to let Mama or Daddy know at all, because they might criticize her for getting into such a situation in the first place.
There in Miss Mullohand’s arms, with undefined confusion in her mind, she suddenly remembered the time when she and Jade Precious Stone had awakened from Sunday afternoon naps to find the whole store dark and deserted, and the front door locked.They must have been just three or four years old then, and in terror they had climbed down the back stairs, and had helped each other to the only source of light: the front factory window.They had clung to each other weeping.After what seemed like an unbearably long time, Mother and Father had returned home and told them, “Here we are, and stop crying.” For comfort, Daddy took a bag of fried soybean curds he had just bought to cook with deep-sea bass and green onions, split them and sprinkled them with white sugar, and gave the two children as many as they wanted as an unusual treat to “mend the hurt.” The children were never again left alone.
But Mama and Daddy had not caught them up in their arms in comfort, Jade Snow remembered at first, finding it wonderful comfort to be embraced by Miss Mullohand.But suddenly the comfort changed to embarrassment.What was one supposed to do now in response? The embarrassment turned to panic.
“Does it hurt badly?” Miss Mullohand asked.Jade Snow felt herself stiffen as her panic increased, wordlessly shook her head to say “No.” She pulled herself from Miss Mullohand and fled from the schoolyard.
Jade Snow did not tell Mama about the incident.Mama would not understand.Mama would say that she should not have been interested in ballplaying in the first place.But more than that, she was now conscious that “foreign” American ways were not only generally and vaguely different from their Chinese ways, but that they were specifically different,and the specific differences would involve a choice of action.Jade Snow had begun to compare American ways with those of her mother and father,and the comparison made her uncomfortable.
5
LUCKY TO BE BORN A CHINESE
The months filled with schoolwork, music lessons, and home chores were broken in routine by a few days which glowed.These were the seven days of the Chinese New Year.According to the Chinese lunar calendar,New Year’s fell in the American February, unless it was a Chinese “leap year,” which gave the year an extra seventh month.These holidays climaxed the year and the American-Chinese children at public school were excused for their festivities.
Mama made preparations by cleaning house completely until everything was gleamingly neat; starched white curtains, polished floors,new oilcloth on the dining table were the first signs of the pleasant days to come.The Wong children, all scrubbed and with their hair washed, were dressed in new clothes, for New Year’s literally meant that everything should be new, renewed, or clean.The children also tried to be very good,for a scolding on New Year’s day foretokened frequent scoldings during the year.It was also poor taste to talk about unpleasant subjects, such as death, for that would also bring bad luck; therefore visitors uttered the most flattering remarks and offered exaggerated good wishes, such as,“May you be blessed with a hundred sons and a thousand grandsons!” or“May you enjoy the best of health and longevity!” or “May you find your great material fortune this year!”
The sidewalks on both sides of Grant Avenue were lined with colorful exhibits when “The Year’s Thirtieth Night” or New Year’s Eve approached.Huge branches from blossoming trees, such as the peach, pear, or apricot,were placed beside open-tiered shelves laden with pots of flowering azaleas, camellias, gardenias, cyclamen, and early-budding bulbs of narcissus and daffodils.Because of its delicacy and heavenly fragrance the traditional narcissus bulb with double blossoms, which grew in water, was always the favorite.
Beside the plant displays were huge wicker baskets piled high with fresh greens or root vegetables, or big pans with dried vegetables or sea foods from China soaking in water.At this time of the year the Chinese grocery stores did their best business.The merchants cleaned their shops,placed fresh plants and oranges in their windows, and displayed new stock imported for the occasion from China.
Mama took Jade Snow and Jade Precious Stone and Forgiveness from Heaven through the streets to see all the sights, for although Mama would not leave the house the year round, on “The Year’s Thirtieth Night” it was her privilege and desire to go out and enjoy the community gaiety for one evening.
The streets, narrow to begin with, were now made even narrower by the displays; they were also jammed by shoppers looking for choice purchases.The busy hum of the crowd and the merchants’ cries created an undercurrent of excitement.A festive spirit flowed from the well-dressed children and their dressed-up mothers, all seemingly relaxed and carefree in their holiday mood and costumes.
Mama did not buy anything; she had her hands occupied with Forgiveness and Jade Precious Stone.Besides, Daddy had already bought all their groceries for their wonderful New Year’s meals—one feast tonight for “Rounding Out the Year” and one day after tomorrow to “Open the Year.”
On New Year’s Eve, when they got home, they discovered that Daddy had gone out too by himself and had brought back a huge branch of pink blossoms, which now graced their one and only antique vase, a handsome black porcelain piece with a colorful dragon decoration.The faint perfume of almond blossoms pervaded their dining room.
Mama said, “Daddy, such a luxury to buy a branch which wild shed its blossoms in a few days.I heard the prices they were asking for these!”
But Daddy smiled happily.“Once a year is reasonable enough for a luxury,” and Mama really looked pleased.
The Wongs expected callers every day of the New Year week, and they were prepared not only with a spotless home but also with decorations of bright oranges and tangerines neatly stacked on plates, new potted plants, and red hangings and pillow covers.
Jade Snow helped Mama pass sweetmeats and red melon seeds to their guests.The sweetmeats were candied melon, coconut, or kumquats,and lichee nuts from China.The red melon seeds were consumed by the visitors with remarkable skill.They cracked the tiny kernel’s outer shell with their teeth, and extracted the thin white seed expertly without breaking it, continuing this tirelessly all afternoon without interrupting their conversation.(In a Chinese gathering melon seeds took the place of cigarettes; and during visits, at the theater, and at banquets, the click, click,click of cracking shells always told of a sociable occasion.) The red and green colors, the fruit, the green plants, the flowering branches, the seeds,the sweets—all were propitious: they meant life, new life, a fruitful life,and a sweet life.
During New Year’s, Chinese women worked at jobs irregularly or not at all; the most important thing was to celebrate properly.The women who were regularly employees of Daddy’s visited his home as guests.There were many exchanges of sweets, and Jade Snow was never hungry during that week.In addition, callers tucked into the children’s hands at least a quarter and sometimes fifty cents or a silver dollar, wrapped in red paper for a good-luck token of material wealth during the year.Mama reciprocated by giving the callers’ children similar good-luck packets.Some of Jade Snow’s schoolmates returned to class with tales of the amount of gift money they had kept for themselves, but she always had to give hers back co Mama.
The delicious tidbits exchanged at New Year’s varied according to the pride and custom of individual households.Some prided themselves on steamed sweet puddings, made of brown sugar and special flours, and decorated with red dates or sesame seeds.Others specialized in salty puddings, made with ground-root flour (something like potato flour), fat pork, chopped baby shrimps, mushrooms, red ginger, and green-topped with parsley (baby coriander leaves).Some families brought a special deep-fried dumpling filled with ground soybeans and rolled in sesame seeds, to be eaten piping hot.Still other women spent considerable time in making tiny turnovers which consisted of a delectable filling of chopped roast pork, bamboo shoots, and spices, rolled in a thin, chewy, translucent paste, and steamed on bamboo racks.
In China, Jade Snow was told, one of the New Year rituals centered around a live carp.The carp, favorite motif for decoration on dishes, was a long-lived fish.It could be kept out of water for an hour or so and yet live when returned to it again.It was also a common superstition that the carp could, after long meditation and practice, develop into that king of creatures, the fiery dragon.At New Year’s, therefore, it was the custom in some parts of China for a family to obtain a live carp, tie some red paper around its middle, and lay it (often with difficulty to keep it laid) on a bed of fresh green lettuce leaves.This literally formed a lively dish.After it had served its purpose, the fish was quickly released to swim out again into its river or pond home.
At the Wongs’, the New Year week got a good start at the “Opening of the Year” with an extra-bountiful dinner which featured Daddy’s special chicken dish and a huge roast duck.The celebration also had a good wind-up on its seventh and last day called “The Day Man Was Made,”with another feast.Of course, the dinner did not end with chicken or duck;there were special dried-vegetable-and-oyster stews and other time-consuming dishes which were not usually served.
To “Open the Year,” Daddy—who cooked only when he was enormously pleased with the occasion—usually fixed his lichee chicken.First, he simmered two young chickens until they were just done.Then he cut green peppers into chunks and parboiled them.Opening two cans of lichee fruit from China, he thickened the syrup with cornstarch.Then he boned and sliced the cool chicken.A layer of chicken, a layer of lichees, a scattering of green pepper, a trail of lichee sauce, and then he repeated the procedure.The dish was served cold, and the unusual combination of flavors always drew forth compliments from the Older Sisters and their husbands.
During the week that followed, there were Lion Dances daily on the streets.Daddy took them to watch the dancing, now holding Forgiveness high on his shoulder, to watch the performance from unobstructed heights.It was the custom in San Francisco for the Chinese hospital to raise its yearly funds by engaging a “lion” to dance for his money.A group of acrobats trained in the technique relieved one another in these dances.They used a large and ferocious-looking but very colorful “lion’s head,”fitted with bright eyes on springs, and a jaw on hinges.From this head there hung a fancy satin “body” and “tail” piece, sewn together with different-colored scalloped strips of coral, turquoise, red, green, and blue silk.One man who set the tempo for the dance manipulated the head,holding it up in both hands, with only his brightly trousered and slippered legs showing below.As the huge Chinese drums beat in quickening tempo,he danced hard, raised the head high, and jerked it from side to side in an inquiring and delighted manner.His partner, holding up the tail, danced in accompaniment.Their lively movements simulated the stalking, attack,and retreat of a lion.
Citizens of Chinatown co-operated by hanging red paper tied with currency and lettuce leaves in front of their doorways.The lion approached and danced up to the prize.Sometimes, he had to dance onto a stool to reach it.As he stretched his hand out through the mouth to grab the money,his feet keeping time on the stool all the while, the occupant of the house or store threw out strings of bursting firecrackers, both to welcome him and to scare away the evil spirits.Daddy, with Jade Snow, Jade Precious Stone, and Forgiveness from Heaven, followed the lion’s trail, treading the red fragments of burnt firecracker wrappings which carpeted the gray sidewalks.
Jade Snow was always fascinated by the Lion Dance—the insistent strong beat of the drums was exhilarating, and the colors and rhythm were unforgettable.But sometimes she felt sorry for the lion, especially when it was hot, or when the bursting firecrackers were thrown right at the“fearless” animal.
The firecrackers were set off to frighten away any lingering evil spirits, and to make the New Year fresh and clean.They came from China and were of various sizes.The tiny ones were hardly worth burning, and were useful to pack with stored clothing to keep away moths.The next size was most popular.In a continuous string they made a great deal of noise,and singly they were still effective.In fact, when Jade Snow was once careless enough to allow one of these to pop off in her hand, it felt numb for a long time.There were still bigger ones which Jade Snow was not allowed to burn.These were called “big lights” and could blow up a bottle or lift a tin can.Only big boys played with those.
Another festival which was traditional with the Chinese and therefore with the Wong family was the Moon Festival.
As long as Jade Snow could remember, their family had unfailingly and appropriately observed the holiday, which was said to have originated in ancient China.According to the Chinese lunar calendar, on the fifteenth day of the eighth month the moon would rise rounder, larger, and more brightly golden than at any other month of the year.Then, specially baked cakes filled with a thick, sweet filling were eaten by the Chinese in recognition of the beautiful, full harvest moon.The round Chinatown moon cakes which Jade Snow knew were about four inches in diameter and an inch and a half thick.Thin, short, sweet golden pastry was wrapped around rich fillings of ground lotus pods, or candied coconut and melon, or ground sweetened soybean paste.Jade Snow’s favorite filling was “five seeds.” This was a crunchy, sweet, nutty mixture of lotus pods, almonds,melon seeds, olive seeds, and sesame seeds.Each cake was cut into small wedges, to be enjoyed slowly with tea.Daddy always said that his father in China used to be able to cut his cake into sixteen to thirty-two wedges; one cake would last him all afternoon as he sat on his front porch to eat and drink and leisurely watch the rest of the village go by his door.
At Moon Festival time, Grandfather also called for a special rice-soup dinner for a large crowd of friends and employees.A thick soup was prepared with rice cooked long hours in chicken stock.Pork chopped fine was seasoned and formed into little balls which were dropped in toward the last part of the cooking.The basic soup was ladled boiling hot into individual bowls.The table was already set with attractive dishes of thinly sliced meats and condiments: red tender beef, fresh raw bass fillet, minced green onions, red ginger, pungent parsley, shredded sweet baby cucumbers,chopped peanuts, crisply fried fine noodles.Each person busily helped himself to these additions according to his taste.A rice-soup dinner was informal and a social occasion for fun.
Yes， it was sometimes very lucky to be born a Chinese daughter.The Americans， Jade Snow heard， did not have a Moon Festival nor a seven-day New Year celebration with delicious accompaniments.Besides，they burned their Chinese firecrackers five months later on one day only—the Fourth of July！[6]
8
THE TASTE OF INDEPENDENCE
In Chinese school, Jade Snow had now passed beyond the vocabulary stage to the study of essays, which she was required to memorize both by oral recitation and writing.The correct spelling of a word could not be hazarded from the sound, but depended on one’s remembering the exact look of a character, including the location of the tiniest dot.
The only subject which permitted students to exercise their imaginations and to demonstrate their knowledge of the language was composition.Once a week they were given a subject title, such as “The Value of Learning,” or “The Necessity of Good Habits,” and the class hummed with anticipation as the words were written on the blackboard.They worked first on a rough draft, and afterward copied the draft with fine brushes onto the squares of a tablet page, which they submitted for correction.
On Saturday mornings, an assembly was held in the chapel of the Chinese Presbyterian Church, where members of the advanced classes took turns in practicing public speaking before the student body.Their talks were usually moral clichés, many patterned after sermons heard from their minister.Patiently, the students suffered with the speakers through such subjects as “It Is Time for China to Unite,” “The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf-Wolf and Betrayed Only Himself,” or “You Can Trust Some Animals More Than You Can Trust Some People.”
Sometimes at these assemblies， they heard sermons or guest speakers.But always the meeting began with prayer and hymns； Jade Snow and Jade Precious Stone learned to sing in Chinese the words to such melodies as“Bringing in the Sheaves，”[7] “Day Is Dying in the West，”[8] “He Arose，”and the stirring “Onward， Christian Soldiers.”[9]
Order, in the most uncompromising Chinese sense, was enforced strictly.Not a sound was tolerated from the rows of black-topped heads in the audience.A dean or disciplinarian preserved order and punished offenders for a multitude of infringements—from assembly misconduct to cheating in class.During assembly, this unpopular man paced up and down the aisles with a long rod held menacingly in his hand.At the slightest noise he was instantly there, and the guilty one was told to stand in the aisle to be shamed publicly for misbehavior.The boys were seated on the right side of the hall, with the girls on the left, arranged by grade.Several boys were notorious for disrupting the peace at almost any assembly.They seemed to enjoy their brief sojourn in the limelight as they stood in disgrace.Rarely was a girl stood out for punishment, but when she was, all heads turned toward her as if by signal.
One Saturday morning, Jade Snow’s most humiliating Chinese school experience occurred in this setting.Simply for the pleasure of outwitting the disciplinarian, Mr.Dong, some of the girls had agreed upon the idea of passing notes surreptitiously from one aisle to the other.One assembly passed off successfully; another assembly found the girls still triumphant.The third week, Mr.Dong, who was conscious of a disturbance, decided that he must find a culprit or suffer a serious loss of face.Unfortunately he decided to pull out a culprit exactly at the moment when the note slid into Jade Snow’s hand.
The next move was swift—the long rod tapped Jade Snow’s shoulder.Shrinking, she looked up to find Mr.Dong, his face wreathed in triumph,motioning unmistakably for her to come out and stand in the aisle.
Jade Snow had never before been mortified so completely， suddenly，and publicly.Slowly she made her way from her seat to the aisle.She stood， perspiring and blushing， keeping her eyes down to screen her agony.She wished that her straight bangs were long enough to conceal her whole face from the curious eyes that she knew were turned to stare in surprise，disapproval， and sympathy.Her tears gathered， hung， and finally dropped unchecked.The green Victorian design[10] on the faded red aisle carpet stamped itself indelibly on her memory during the interminable wait until the end of the assembly.
As usual, her first thought was “What would Daddy and Mama say?”Mostly it was “What would Daddy say?” Daddy probably would never have been party to passing notes.He would not mind refusing to co-operate in a project to which all others had agreed, if he thought it was not exactly right.But as just another little girl in a whole row of classmates with whom one had to get along every evening of the week, Jade Snow had not felt equal to resistance.It was her own fault, as usual.
Finally, the last hymn was sung, the students received the benediction,and as the assembly was dismissed, Mr.Dong announced, “All those who have been stood out at assembly will go to the principal’s office immediately to receive their punishment.”
“To receive punishment”—wasn’t standing out enough? This aftermath had not occurred to Jade Snow.She picked up her books from her seat and trailed out after the dwindling crowd, turning off to enter the principal’s office instead of going downstairs to the street as usual.
Guilty boys were waiting inside the office, which held two old-fashioned desks and a couple of old wooden chairs.Into this colorless,cluttered-looking place, Mr.Dong hustled with brisk anticipation.He went to his desk and found a long cane switch, heavier and tied more securely than Daddy’s salvages from the bindings of the rice bundles.Evidently the boys were seasoned to this routine, for they quickly stepped up to Mr.Dong and held out their right palms.The switch cut the air and cracked down loudly three times on the open palms.The boys did not cry out, but stuck out their chests manfully before their lone female audience, and nonchalantly scampered off.
Mr.Dong began his treatment of Jade Snow more ceremoniously.“Wong Jade Snow, I am surprised at such misbehavior in a young lady, and you must be punished to teach you a lesson.”
Jade Snow was terrified.Then indignation routed terror as it suddenly occurred to her that she need not necessarily submit.Nobody except her parents had ever whipped her.It was one thing to be stood out as a martyr for her friends, but nobody should whip her for it.According to Mama’s and Daddy’s instructions, she had never before argued with a teacher, but she needed no practice for the scornful words which she flung recklessly because she knew that they were righteous.
“Yes, I did pass a note, and for that perhaps I deserve to be stood out.But I am no more guilty than the girl who passed it to me, or the girl who had passed it to her, and even less at fault are we than the girl who started it.If you whip me, you should also have here all the girls from my row,with their palms outstretched.And I won’t hold out my hand until I see theirs held out also!”
There was a stunned silence.Mr.Dong could not have been any more surprised than Jade Snow herself.From where had all those words tumbled,so suddenly and so forcefully?
Mr.Dong recovered somewhat and clutched his vanishing dignity.“So you dare to question me!”
The new Jade Snow spoke again, “I speak only for what is right, and I will always question wrong in the way my Daddy has taught me.I am willing to bring him here to submit this matter to his judgment.Until then,I hold out no hand.”
There Mr.Dong was held.Obviously he did not wish to have a director of the school board brought in to arbitrate between the disciplinarian and his own daughter, Jade Snow.He generously waved his hand.“Very well, I shall let you off gently this time, but don’t take advantage of my good nature to let this happen again!”
As Jade Snow went home that Saturday afternoon, her thoughts were not concerned with her victory, unprecedented as it was.She was struck with this new idea of speaking for what she knew was right.All the vague remarks which Mama and her older sisters had dropped from time to time,and the stories they had told about Daddy’s well-known habit of speaking out forthrightly and fearlessly for what he believed was right, no matter what everyone else thought, had borne their first fruit in Jade Snow.
At the American day school, Jade Snow was now ready for junior high school.Most of her classmates went on to a local junior high school where the student body was a mixture of Italian-American and Chinese-American youngsters.Daddy, however, made some investigations first, having heard rumors that this was a “tough” school, not in the sense of academic requirements, which would have been pleasing to him, but in the behavior of the boy students.
Although the accuracy of this report could not be ascertained, Daddy judiciously was not taking any chances on undermining the delicate sensibilities and disciplined character which he and Mama had so carefully and strictly forged in Jade Snow.At eleven, this daughter could hardly find a moment of her life which was not accounted for and accounted for properly, by Mama or Daddy.She had not yet been allowed to visit any friend, of any age or sex, unaccompanied.She had never even gone to the playground, a block away from home, without a grown-up relative or friend in attendance.When she was old enough to go alone to school, to the barber shop, or to the grocery, she either took Younger Sister, or was allowed exactly enough time to accomplish her purpose and return without any margin for loitering on the streets.
About this time, Jade Snow and Jade Precious Stone together suffered their last whipping at Daddy’s hands, to teach them unforgettably the importance of keeping a promise and the necessity of accounting to their parents for their time and their activities.
Oldest Sister Jade Swallow was organizing the citizens of Chinatown to roll bandages for shipment to the Chinese front in the Sino-Japanese war.One Saturday evening she asked her two younger sisters to come over to the Y.W.C.A.[11] to help her.Jade Snow asked Mama for permission to go.
“It is all right with me as long as you get all your household duties done before you leave.But you must also obtain your father’s permission,”said Mama.
Jade Snow went to Daddy.
Daddy debated, “I do not like to have you begin the habit of going out at night.However, it is a worthy cause.Be back not later than nine.”
The Y.W.C.A.was about four blocks away.There the sisters had a fine time rolling bandages.It was fun to chat with Oldest Sister again, for they did not see one another often.Before they knew it, it was nine o’clock,but Jade Snow and Jade Precious Stone were loath to depart.Tomorrow would be Sunday, and only a few more bandages were needed before their quota would be filled.
“We are supposed to be home by now, Big Sister,” Jade Snow anxiously reminded.
“If you stay a little longer to finish this job, I will telephone Daddy and tell him that you are still working here and will be home a half hour later.”
This Oldest Sister did.She reported that he had consented.In happy confidence that all was well, the two sisters finished their bandages and went home at 9:30.
They raced down the flight of entrance stairs, walked through the store, and just as they were entering the hallway to their room, they saw Daddy rise from his desk in his office cubicle.He came out to meet them,and they saw that he held in his hand the bundle of whipping cane.
“Look at the clock and observe the time!” was all he said.
They looked.The big old-fashioned Seth Thomas wall-piece[12] gave the date of the month， the day of the week， and its time hands leered down at them.Nine-thirty-seven， they read.
Daddy loomed large and menacing; there was no kindness in his face.Swiftly the switch cut the air and whistled sharply just before it landed across the back of Jade Snow’s bare calves.
“You are older and you must be punished first,” thundered Daddy angrily.“You are responsible for leading your younger sister, and I shall teach you not to disregard the time and your word to me again.”
Down whistled the switch again on little nine-year-old Jade Precious Stone’s bare legs.“And you are to learn not to follow your Older Sister in her sins.”
Across Jade Snow’s thighs, then against Jade Precious Stone’s, again and again both children were roundly whipped; but Mama had put one limitation on her own and on Daddy’s whippings—the children were never to be struck near or on their heads, because such blows might affect their brain and injure their intelligence!
“Are you not ashamed that big girls like you must be taught by physical punishment! Now off to bed quickly before I become more angered,” said Daddy in a roar.
The girls jumped and winced under the strokes but knew that it was best to submit silently.Jade Snow knew that Daddy’s generation in China were whipped even more severely—they were suspended from their wrists while receiving punishment.The girls limped off and climbed into one bed for mutual comfort, and under the covers they rubbed each other’s sore,red welts.With heavy hearts, they quietly sobbed themselves to sleep.
The daughters of the Wong family were born to requirements exacting beyond their understanding.These requirements were not always made clear, until a step out of bounds brought the parents’ swift and drastic correction.
Now after eleven years of continuous vigilance, Daddy was not going to let Jade Snow go to any school that “tough” boys might be attending.He called upon Oldest Sister for assistance.Oldest Sister suggested a junior high school eight blocks from home which she thought superior to the other school.As it had no Chinese students, Jade Snow would be forced to learn more English; Oldest Sister convinced Daddy.
Complying with their decision, Jade Snow found herself the only Chinese student in a small neighborhood school.Here she did not make new friends.She missed her grammar school companions, but she hesitated to take the initiative in making friends with the first “foreign”classmates of her own age.She was not invited to any of their homes or parties.Being shy anyway, she quietly adjusted to this new state of affairs;it did not occur to her to be bothered by it.
Since the new school was a little farther than comfortable walking distance over the steepest part of Nob Hill，[13] Jade Snow received fifty cents from Mama twice a month to buy a car ticket.On nice days， however，Jade Snow usually walked home from school to save two-and-a-half cents.
It was on one of these solitary walks home soon after she had transferred to the new school that Jade Snow was introduced for the first time to racial discrimination.
She had been delayed after school.Everyone had gone except herself and a little boy to whom she had never paid much attention—a very pale,round-faced boy with puffy cheeks, an uncombed thatch of sandy hair,freckles, and eyes which strangely matched the color of his hair.
“I’ve been waiting for a chance like this,” Richard said excitedly to Jade Snow.With malicious intent in his eyes, he burst forth, “Chinky,Chinky, Chinaman.”
Jade Snow was astonished.She considered the situation and decided to say nothing.
This placidity provoked Richard.He picked up an eraser and threw it at her.It missed and left a white chalk mark upon the floor.A little puff of white dust sifted up through the beam of the afternoon sun streaming through the window.
Jade Snow decided that it was time to leave.As she went out of the doorway, a second eraser landed squarely on her back.She looked neither to the right nor left, but proceeded sedately down the stairs and out the front door.In a few minutes, her tormentor had caught up with her.Dancing around her in glee, he chortled, “Look at the eraser mark on the yellow Chinaman.Chinky, Chinky, no tickee, no washee, no shirtee!”
Jade Snow thought that he was tiresome and ignorant.Everybody knew that the Chinese people had a superior culture.Her ancestors had created a great art heritage and had made inventions important to world civilization—the compass, gunpowder, paper, and a host of other essentials.She knew, too, that Richard’s grades couldn’t compare with her own, and his home training was obviously amiss.
After following her for a few blocks, Richard reluctantly turned off to go home, puzzled and annoyed by not having provoked a fight.Jade Snow walked on, thinking about the incident.She had often heard Chinese people discuss the foreigners and their strange ways, but she would never have thought of running after one of them and screaming with pointed finger, for instance, “Hair on your chest!” After all, people were just born with certain characteristics, and it behooved no one to point a finger at anyone else, for everybody was or had something which he could not help.
She concluded that perhaps the foreigners were simply unwise in the ways of human nature, and unaware of the importance of giving the other person “face,” no matter what one’s personal opinion might be.They probably could not help their own insensibility.Mama said they hadn’t even learned how to peel a clove of garlic the way the Chinese did.
When she arrived home, she took off her coat and brushed off the chalk mark.Remembering the earlier incident of the neighborhood boy who spit on her and its outcome, she said nothing about that afternoon to anyone.
During the next two years， Jade Snow found in eager reading her greatest source of joy and escape.As she now understood a fair amount of English， she stopped at the public library every few days after school to return four books and choose four new ones， the number allowed on one library card.Every day she read one book from cover to cover while with one ear she listened to her teachers.Temporarily she forgot who she was，or the constant requirements of Chinese life， while she delighted in the adventures of the Oz books，[14] the Little Colonel，[15] Yankee Girl，[16] and Western cowboys， for in these books there was absolutely nothing resembling her own life.
About this time, to help her in her studies, Daddy bought Jade Snow her own desk.It was exactly like his, of yellow oak, with a kneehole, a set of three drawers on the right side, pigeonholes facing on the back, and a cover of flexible slats which could be rolled down to lock the desk.Daddy believed firmly in providing each of his children with a personal desk,light, and pair of scissors.He hated to have anyone disturb his belongings,and to teach his children the importance of leaving other people’s personal property alone, he saw to it that each had his own essential tools for orderly living and studying.
Thus well equipped, Jade Snow had no excuse for not doing her homework to perfection.Because of this and because her last name began with “W,” which seated her at the back of the classroom, she was able to manage those two fancy-full happy, daydreaming years in her storybooks while she obliviously sailed through junior high, received a blue-and-white block sweater emblem for outstanding citizenship, and woke up to find that her teachers had skipped her half a grade.At twelve she was qualified to enter high school.
18
“LEARNING CAN NEVER BE POOR OR EXHAUSTED”—CHINESE PROVERB
Jade snow’s years at Mills College[17] were inseparably colored by living at “Kapiolani，” the dean’s little brown-shingled home.This simple structure located on a hillside road wore a charming crown： a garden of gaily colored fuchsias， bamboo， camellias， azaleas， and species of geraniums and pelargoniums—all thriving in pots bordering the flat roof.At night， the mellow glow from a string of electrically lighted Japanese lanterns extended the tropical setting into evening enjoyment.
On one corner of this roof garden was a miniature penthouse room,surrounded by a ribbon of windows.These pleasant quarters gave Jade Snow her first complete privacy in studying and in personal living, and at last gave her inner peace.
The various rooms of the house downstairs were like the exterior，simple and without clutter.Jade Snow helped operate the house and manage the meals to enable the dean and herself to carry on their respective campus responsibilities and activities with maximum dispatch.Sometimes， she also helped attend to the house or dinner guests.But though these duties filled her days with busyness， she never felt too rushed and she never felt herself to be merely a servant.All who lived in that home， including a pair of cocker spaniels[18] named Pupuli and Papaia， a black cat named Bessie， and Jade Snow， were recipients of the dean’s kindness and consideration.
Unexpectedly, life shone with a new glow.Jade Snow returned home each day to a friend who was never too tired to think through a problem with her, who could explain the many new experiences peculiar to a residential women’s college, and who shed a mature light on the art of living.With humor, honesty, and affection, Jade Snow was given guidance and comfort without judgment pronounced, and by daily example she was impressed with the marvel of inner spiritual strength and the meaning of gentleness.
Now, living became fun! The fun was partly in being able to participate in the home activities of one of the campus’ central figures.At their house, there were teas for parents of students, apple and doughnut parties for seniors, breakfasts for residence-hall mothers, and a host of other unorganized, impromptu, but memorable little gatherings.Here Jade Snow met celebrated musicians, scholars, and speakers who visited the college.
Another kind of fun was initiated and encouraged by the dean, who was often away for dinner and worried that Jade Snow had to eat alone three or four nights a week.
“Why don’t you invite some of your friends up here for dinner soon?You must have met some girls you like well enough to want to know them better,” the dean said one evening as she was preparing to go out.
“I feel fine alone,” Jade Snow replied truthfully, for she was enjoying the novel experience of opportunity for unhurried study.
The dean in her usual straightforward manner rejected this reason,“But it’s not good for you to be alone as much as you are.” Then, always tactful, she added, “Besides, I’d like to meet your friends, and I imagine they may enjoy coming up here.”
Jade Snow agreed to invite some new acquaintances to dinner.New acquaintances were many because everyone said “Hello” to everyone else on the campus.She had also discovered immediately, and to her great surprise, that she was accepted as an equal wherever she went.There were no sororities here—only the five residence halls.There were class loyalties and hall loyalties, but no loyalty in which money figured as an asset.After all that she had heard about Mills being a rich girls’ school, Jade Snow could not find who the rich girls were, for the student body dressed simply in sweaters, blouses, skirts, or wash dresses.It would have been the height of bad taste here either to ask, or for anyone to declare, who had money.Mills living was democratic living in the truest sense; the emphasis was entirely on how you used what you had within you.
Although Jade Snow could not participate in residence-hall living,she was invited to affiliate with a hall.She chose Mills Hall, a large,colonial structure still standing from the first Mills days of ninety years ago.This building housed over a hundred girls, and its kitchen staff was entirely Chinese, some of them descendants of the first Chinese kitchen help who worked for the founders of the college.In this hall, conveniently located between Kapiolani and the administration building and library,Jade Snow found her new friends.
There was Wan-Lien, a native of China, athletic, alert, direct, and intensely interested in chemistry.There was a granddaughter of Sun Yat-sen who had founded the Republic of China, sweet, friendly, and charmingly feminine.There was Betty Quon, a quiet, shy Chinese from Honolulu, a music major; Teruko, a Japanese girl from Tokyo, members of whose family were affiliated with the royalty of Japan; and Harriet, an American girl from the state of Washington who mingled with them as much as with her Caucasian friends.For all of these girls, Mills was a novel experience.All were away from home for the first time; all were transfer or new students who were not returning to an already established circle of friendships.
One Sunday noon after chapel service Jade Snow dropped into Mills Hall and made her way to Harriet’s room, which seemed to be a congregation center.As usual, Teruko was there already.These two became Jade Snow’s best friends.
Hesitantly Jade Snow broached the subject.“Harriet, the dean thinks I am alone too much.She would like to meet some of my friends, and suggested that I invite you to the house.Do you think that you can stand some of my cooking for a change? That is, can you and Teruko come up for some simple food next Tuesday?”
Loud outcries of delight and surprise greeted this proposal.
“Would we like your cooking!” declared Harriet.“If you only knew how tired we get of hall food.Sometimes, just to get a change, we run down to the corner drugstore for hamburgers.”
Teruko did not hesitate.“Could we have Chinese food? I have been so homesick for Oriental food.”
Now Jade Snow was surprised, “Why, I hadn’t planned Chinese food.I’ve never cooked a Chinese dinner away from home before, but if you’re willing to share what I can find, I’ll try something.”
Both girls were suddenly apprehensive about invading the dean’s home.
“I wouldn’t know how to behave,” Teruko said dubiously.
“We’ll have to stand the dean’s inspection, won’t we?” asked Harriet.
Jade Snow reassured them, “Don’t worry; this was her idea anyway.Besides, the dean isn’t really what you think a ‘deanish’ person should be.”
As Jade Snow left, she ran into Wan-Lien in the narrow,high-ceilinged hall.Impulsively she began, “Harriet and Teruko are coming up to the house for a Chinese dinner next week.Would you care to join us for some simple rice?”
Wan Lien exploded enthusiastically in their common Cantonese tongue, “I haven’t had Chinese home cooking since I came to America.I would do anything you say to be worthy of a Chinese dinner.Thank you,really thank you.You certainly have a good heart!”
Within half an hour, her comrades had raised Jade Snow high in their estimation.To be worthy of this new trust, Jade Snow racked her brains to decide what dishes she could cook without a Chinese larder.
After class on Tuesday, she came back from the neighborhood grocery store and meat market with the following items: a pound and a half of ripe tomatoes, a pound of yellow onions, a bunch of green onions, a large green pepper, a head of celery, a dozen eggs, a bottle of dark soy sauce which had been bottled for American consumption, a half-pound slice of raw ham, a pound of flank steak, and a box of small-sized long-grain white rice.The rice and soy sauce were chosen after weighty misgivings, but they had to do.The other items were for a minimum menu;even for an ordinary dinner, Chinese cooking involved small quantities of several different meats and vegetables.
In the Kapiolani kitchen, Jade Snow ransacked the cabinets for numerous small bowls to hold the chopped vegetables, a proper pot with tight-fitting lid in which to cook the rice, a sturdy, ample chopping board,and a sharp, strong knife.These, together with a large, heavy frying pan,and a pair of chopsticks—which she did not have—were the minimum equipment for cooking.At home, she had taken the existence of these utensils for granted.
Besides the rice, she was planning only two dishes—egg foo young and tomato-beef.She started her preparations.Chinese dishes were always assembled from similar-sized particles.Vegetables were definitely diced,or shredded, or in chunks, depending on the nature of the meat with which they would be keeping company.They were chosen to give balanced crisp and soft textures and contrasting colors to a dish.
For the egg foo young, everything was shredded for quick cooking.So two onions were sliced thin, and a cup of celery slivered on a bias.The ham was cut into long shreds about one-eighth inch thick.Proceeding with the precooking, Jade Snow fried the onions slightly in the frying pan, and added the ham until both were barely cooked through.Lifting out this mixture, she put in the celery with a little water and covered it until that was barely cooked through, but still crisp.Two or three minutes only were given each vegetable.Then these three ingredients were beaten up with enough eggs—about six—to bind them together.A little soy sauce and chopped green onions were added for flavor and color, and the dish was ready for final cooking later on.Any firm meat could have been used in place of the ham—shredded or leftover chicken, roast pork, shrimp, or crab, but never beef, which would have been too juicy.A few cooked peas or bean sprouts could have been added to or substituted for the celery and onions.There were no specific proportions to Chinese cooking; just imagination according to personal preference, common sense, and knowledge of basic principles were necessary.
The tomato-beef followed a somewhat different method of preparation.She sliced, marinated, and quickly browned the beef with garlic and oil over very high flames as she had seen Mama do.Since the tomatoes had to be cut in quarters or eighths to preserve their identity after cooking, the large yellow onion and green pepper were also cut in chunks to go with the tomatoes properly.When an hour had passed, there was an array of colorfully filled bowls set out on the kitchen table: the yellow egg mixture dotted with pink and green, a bowl of red tomatoes, one of onions,another of green pepper, and one of browned beef.This freshly cut and precooked food sent delicate and exotic aromas through the house.
In addition, there were two bowls of gravy mixes.One, a basic brown sauce, was made with a tablespoon each of soy sauce and cornstarch mixed with a cup of water.The other was the basic sweet-and-sour sauce for the tomato-beef dish.To make this sauce, a little more cornstarch was used for a thicker consistency.For a cup or so of sauce, two spoonfuls of vinegar and four rounded tablespoons of brown sugar were added.Sometimes more sugar or more vinegar was used—the proportions depending on the dish.Since the tomatoes were likely to be sour, Jade Snow was using more sugar and less vinegar than she would use for spareribs, sweet and sour.
The dean popped into the kitchen to inspect the activities, sniffed the odors, and declared, “I wish I were staying for dinner.Promise me that you’ll cook me a Chinese dinner too, sometime.Have a nice evening—build a fire and make yourselves at home.”
Soon a chatter of voices announced the coming of the guests, who trooped through the back door, and declared their eagerness to help.While they set the table in the living room, Jade Snow proceeded with the final cooking.As only one frying pan was available, she first fried the egg foo young gently in patties like pancakes, using just enough peanut oil to keep them from sticking, and as they became browned she set them in the warm oven and covered them.
She then started the tomato-beef dish by browning the onion wedges.She added tomatoes and green peppers, and let the mixture come to a boil for a couple of minutes to cook the tomatoes.Pouring on the sweet and sour sauce, she waited until it had turned clear.Then the flame was turned off, and the beef was added last.She dished up the tomato-beef, and used the pan to cook the other brown soy gravy to pour over the egg foo young.
Such a simple dinner these dishes made, but how the girls appreciated it.They enjoyed the fire, the candlelight, and the gaiety and confidences,as only four college girls with a sense of fellowship can do during a free evening.
The girls in their turn invited Jade Snow to dine at their hall, and from these beginnings there sprang a pleasant interchange of visits between Jade Snow at Kapiolani and her friends at Mills Hall.True, she couldn’t list among her college experiences many of the usual student activities; but it was a unique pleasure, whenever she could sandwich time between work and studies, or when she returned to the campus with Chinese groceries from San Francisco, to invite someone to tea or dinner.Jade Snow found that the girls were perpetually curious about her Chinese background and Chinese ideologies, and for the first time she began to formulate in her mind the constructive and delightful aspects of the Chinese culture to present to non-Chinese.
It was this sense of serene and broadened living that enabled Jade Snow to reach out for the full measure of value from her academic studies.The average number in her classes was fifteen, and in many special economics and sociology courses, which now were her major, there were only four or five students.The intimacy of these classes was a complete departure from Jade Snow’s earlier experiences.
One class of half-a-dozen students studying the history of the Orient was taught by a serious scholar who believed that his class could learn the early history of China best by studying the development of her art, which documented foreign and religious influences.Since the instructor wrote and spoke Chinese, it was most enjoyable to Jade Snow to learn about her ancestral culture with the aid of two languages for an exchange of ideas.
What was disturbing in the first weeks at Mills was that her lifelong perfected system of learning failed her.At the end of several weeks, she had only a handful of lecture notes.The instructor of the labor course, a brilliant and direct man as interested in the practical workings of theory as in the theory itself, taught by encouraging questions.But at the end of every never-dull class period, Jade Snow did not have one lecture note.
How was she going to study without notes? Accustomed to specific assignments in orderly fashion, and habitually thorough, she became concerned by the vagueness of these subjects which defeated her ability to memorize—an ability carefully perfected by her Chinese studies and which had heretofore always worked.
Impressed by the informality and approachability of her professors,she gathered her courage to speak to her labor instructor.“I have a problem in not being able to take any lecture notes from you.At junior college, we were given definite outlines to follow and study for examinations.”
Her instructor seemed amused.“Why do you think that you learn only from lecture notes?”
Jade Snow had no answer to this unexpected question.
He continued, “Here we want to know each one individually.Instead of reading a set of prepared notes, I study my students’ minds and ideas.By the conversational method, I try to develop your minds, not give you sets of facts.Don’t you know that you can always go to the library to look up facts?”
Jade Snow could not immediately grasp this new concept of individual training.She had never thought of the purpose of academic training as being anything else than that of disseminating superior information.
All she could say in defense was, “But I learned a lot from junior college.”
The instructor came back neatly, “Sure, you learned a lot.But now I am trying to teach you to think!”
Jade Snow, at a complete loss, mumbled a “Thank you” and trailed off in a state of mental indigestion.
The first midterm gave ample exercise in how to think.Jade Snow arrived at class in a fog of memorized dates, names, and places, and found that one essay question comprised the entire midterm.It was: “You are(choose any one) a Palestinian potter; an Anatolian farmer; an Athenian shoemaker; a Carthaginian clerk; a Roman cook; a West-Saxon weaver; an Italian goldsmith.You are transferred, buckrogerswise, to Oakland in 1940,and try to get a job in your trade.What problems do you face?”
A buzz of excitement went around the astounded class.Incredulous and confused, Jade Snow reread the question and floundered miserably to find a passably imaginative answer.After spending half an hour figuring what trade to select, she chose the Palestinian potter simply because it was the first one listed, but she didn’t know a thing about pottery, let alone Palestinian pottery.In the ensuing hour, her heretofore unshaken faith in the effectiveness of the Chinese study method collapsed completely.
Gradually, through successive examinations and successive classroom discussions, she learned the true meaning of her instructor’s remarks, and at the end of a year’s study she found that from slow beginnings she was learning to analyze and to evaluate what she heard and read, and to express more readily in English what she thought.She found that her curious mind was being disciplined to work quickly and to find relationships between problems.
She was being led gradually to reverse her lifelong practice, enforced by her parents, of keeping to herself what she thought.Her mind sprang from its tightly bound concern with facts and the Chinese absolute order of things, to concern with the reasons behind the facts, their interpretations,and the imminence of continuous change.
This release did not mean that her imagination soared to new heights on unfurled wings, but it did cause her to search for new answers, to fail painfully before classmates, to grope inwardly for the right expression and find herself and try again—because sometimes in her eagerness with this new-found freedom she said only the wrong thing.
The labor-problems course included a number of field trips.First, the class attended some real union meetings.Next, the instructor—learning that Jade Snow’s father owned a small garment factory—interrupted a conversation about piecework factories and workers to ask her one day:
“Do you think that our class might visit your father’s factory?”
Jade Snow was startled.“I don’t know.”
“If you will arrange for a visit to your father’s factory,” he continued,“I’ll arrange for a visit to a large factory manufacturing a famous national brand of overalls and we can compare notes on the two.”
“I’ll ask my father,” Jade Snow promised.
That evening she telephoned Daddy.Not wasting words on pleasantries, she began, “Daddy, one of my instructors would like our class to visit our factory as a field-trip project.”
Daddy was disconcerting.“What is there remarkable to see in my factory?”
Jade Snow explained, “The teacher says that he wishes to contrast your factory with a large one.Most of the class members have never seen garment manufacturing in progress.”
Daddy asked, “What kind of a person is your teacher?”
“Why, it’s hard to say exactly ...He is honest and has humility ...”and then she was inspired by remembering some biographical facts, “His father was a missionary in China, where he was born.He is, moreover, a Ph.D.in Religion and a Methodist.”
In response came a favorable and thoughtful “Is that so?” Then, “Be sure to give me adequate notice before you come, so that the floor will be newly swept.”
“Good, Daddy.” Chinese parents and children seldom thanked each other in so many words.
At the arranged time, the class toured Daddy’s factory, while Jade Snow explained the different processes, familiar to her since childhood.All the while, the Chinese women workers stared at the young, healthy Caucasian girls just as curiously as the students stared at the native costumes and the Chinese babies who played and napped comfortably as their mothers worked.
Jade Snow also showed the class through their living quarters, where Mama and Daddy were waiting for them.In warm greeting Daddy extended his hand and a big smile to the instructor, while Mama hovered shyly but keenly observant in the background.In the Chinese spirit of hospitality, she had made extra tea besides the quart in the thermos bottle which was always on hand to greet unexpected callers, quench thirst, or pacify fright.Now she invited everyone to have tea and tea cakes in the dining room.The girls had their tea standing, and gazed curiously at the numerous photographs of cousins and ancestral graves in China, which Daddy was proud to hang on all the walls.Daddy sat in his customary chair.Although everyone seemed more or less at home, the parents as well as guests, Jade Snow suddenly felt estranged, for while she was translating conversation between instructor and parents, she was observing the scene with two pairs of eyes—Fifth Daughter’s, and those of a college junior.
The subsequent trip to the American factory at least twenty times larger than Daddy’s brought the contrast sharply home to her.This firm,unlike Daddy’s, marketed as well as manufactured its own brand of jeans.The most striking difference to Jade Snow, however, was not merely the size of operations, which impressed her fellow class members.It was the intensity of the Caucasian men and women pieceworkers, who did not chat or stop one moment.No one looked around, ready to laugh and relieve his boredom.A baby would have been unhappy and entirely out of place there.What a difference between the relaxed attitude of the Chinese pieceworkers and the frantic preoccupation of the Caucasians! Instead of thinking of the economic significance of a big business as against Daddy’s small one, Jade Snow was thinking that the boss of this vast establishment could not give his personal attention to train each apprentice to correct habits, nor could he repair a bassinette for a tired worker’s baby; nor could his wife sew alongside his employees and invite a hungry worker to have some soup in her factory kitchen.
Field trips like these were infrequent, but one requirement common to all courses was the term paper, the quality of which tipped the final grade of a course tremendously.It was an opportunity for the individual student to do a unified piece of original thinking at her own pace, but no student seemed to appreciate such an opportunity.Groans, not cries of delight,greeted the instructor’s reminder that term papers were expected or due.
Fortunately Jade Snow found that her previous practice in creative writing helped now in preparing a term paper for a year’s course in the English novel.Her subject, “The Chinese Novel,” offered opportunity for comparing the English and Chinese treatment of novels.At last, she had an opportunity to link her past and present learning.
Coincidentally with her work on this paper came the publication of an English translation of the historically famous Chinese classic novel, Chin Ping Mei, written anonymously in the sixteenth century.Jade Snow was therefore able to review a typical Chinese novel, to prove her thesis that the Chinese novel differed completely from the English or Continental novel in its development, form, and purpose.
Jade Snow thought hard, wove her best Chinese and English knowledge into the paper, and felt satisfied with her work.Her English professor was also satisfied.He told her that he had chosen the paper for reading at an English conference to be held at the college, where representatives from three other bay area colleges and universities would gather.
Jade Snow heard this announcement, smiled, but could find no words to answer when her classmates congratulated her.How could she tell them that for a year she had been watching and listening with wonder to catch every movement and sound of these Caucasian girls who participated so easily in the college scene, who absorbed and contributed while she remained a mere spectator? Now at last she too could claim to be a participant.