四、实现愿景
以愿景为指导，一个看似简单的公式将帮助摆脱软瘾的束缚：增加那些有助于实现愿景的事物，减去那些会让人们远离愿景的事物。在这个公式中，加实际上是减，减实际上是加。人们要学会为生活增添内容，而不是用物质填满它。人们一直认为摆脱坏习惯的方法就是立刻放弃那种习惯，借助意志力咬紧牙关熬过去，但摆脱软瘾并不意味着远离电视、永远放弃大杯摩卡咖啡或者完全戒掉购物或上网。它的真正含义是设计一种充实的、令人满意的生活，让身体、思想和精神得到满足，它们不仅可以帮助你克服这些影响生活的习惯，而且还可以成为生活的基石，帮助人们过上更充实的生活。
1.学会加减法
摆脱软瘾并不能带来有意义、更充实的生活，但解决更深层次的渴望可以。这种加减法可以帮助人们明确为了满足这些渴望，应该在生活中添加有意义的活动。当阅读、社交或与朋友聚会的时间增加后，看电视的时间就会减少，人们就不太可能放纵于软瘾。
2.养分和自我关爱的加法：生活+精神养分-软瘾=充实
人们不必从零开始去创造梦想中的生活。加减的对象包括自我照顾和有意义的活动、个人力量和自我表达，以及生活目的和精神世界。人们会使用一种“分配方法”来做加法。他们在生活中加入不同的生活方式和活动，以更全面地接纳和尊重自己，而不仅仅是将自己训练成某种人。加法是一种改变生活方式的强大武器，不是要人们遵循规定，而是要听从自己的内心。在发现许多关爱、发展和发现自我的方法后，尽情展望生活的多种可能——它们是实现美好生活的要素。
3.接受情绪的能力
在自我关爱中，情绪扮演着最重要但也最容易被忽视的角色。软瘾最大的害处和我们为其付出的代价是感受的麻木。没有了感受，我们永远无法了解我们的全部力量、本性和目的，永远不会过上我们理想中的生活。从本质上说，软瘾标志着对感受的排斥。我们大多数人在成长过程中接受的教育都没有鼓励我们尊重或接受自己的全部感受和情绪，所以我们很容易转向软瘾去麻痹“不该有”的感受和情绪。一个简单而有力的法则是，越关注自己的感受，就越少沉溺于软瘾。无论愿景是什么，有意识、负责任地表达感受会帮助实现它。
【注释】
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[55]由医学专业人员为极度依赖阿片类药物的使用者注射纯海洛因。
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