3.3 详略交替的流畅性及其翻译

3.3 详略交替的流畅性及其翻译

民间故事的讲述一定存在详略交替的现象,一些内容需要非常简炼、高度概括地讲述,一些内容则需要非常详细地讲述,尽量铺陈细节。

《桑洛与娥并》也有详略交替的现象,并且交替转换自如流畅。

这一天,太阳出山的时候,桑洛和他的伙伴打扮得好精神:银色的长刀背在背上,他们头上戴着三角篾帽,脸上闪着红光,朝阳照着他们的新衣裳,金色的纽扣也在闪亮,他们跨上了高头大马。在那一串丁丁当当的牛铃声中,他们牵着无数小卜哨的视线,徐徐出了寨子。

At sunrise,Sangluo and his friends were dressed nicely.With long shiny knives on their backs and triangle bamboo-strip hats on their heads,they appeared in the morning sun,their faces flushing and golden buttons shining.After they mounted their horses,they went out of the village slowly with the jingling of cow bells,followed by the eyes of many girls.

走过竹林,穿过森林,遇到挡路的荆棘,就挥刀开路。走到太阳落山,桑洛和他的朋友们就卸下牛驮子,支起了帐篷。到山泉淘米,把米装进竹筒里,在刚点起的篝火上做起了竹筒饭。饭后,就在篝火旁,桑洛拉起了琴,同伴唱起了歌。他们仿佛又回到了景多昂。唉,景多昂的人走到哪里都驮着一个景多昂的梦。

Sangluo and his friends walked through a bamboo wood and through a forest,where they made their way forward by cutting down brambles.At sunset,they stopped,unloading the cattle and setting up tents.After washing rice with mountain water and putting it in bamboo tubes,they began to cook their meals over a campfire.As soon as they had their meals,Sangluo started to play the fiddle and his friends began to sing,as if they were back in Jingduoang.Wherever people from the village went,they always kept the thought of their hometown.(https://www.daowen.com)

这两段是相邻的两个段落。第一个段落描述桑洛和伙伴外出经商离开村寨的情景,先详细描述桑洛和伙伴的打扮,然后笔锋一转,再简明地描述他们离开村寨的情景。第二段描述桑洛和伙伴外出经商路途的情景,这一段简要描述他们如何赶路,如何吃饭,如何缓解旅途的枯燥乏味。这种简要描述非常概括地说明了他们在路途中的独有行为,如他们是这样做饭的:“到山泉淘米,把米装进竹筒里,在刚点起的篝火上做起了竹筒饭。”

可以说,两段中相关内容的详略转换是轻松自如的,这样的叙述也增加了文本的趣味性,使读者能够体味到具体的细节,也能快速体味到故事的发展进程。

译文中,不但将相关的信息清晰地呈现出来,还应用了一些方法,使译文符合英语段落的衔接要求,使译文显得衔接流畅。

在第一段中,“他们跨上了高头大马。在那一串丁丁当当的牛铃声中,他们牵着无数小卜哨的视线,徐徐出了寨子。”被译成“After they mounted their horses,they went out of the village slowly with the jingling of cow bells,followed by the eyes of many girls.”译文增加了after这个连接词,使原文中的两个简单句子变成译文中的一个复合句,语意逻辑清晰,自然流畅。

在第二段中,原文简要描述了桑洛和伙伴们旅途中的主要事件:赶路、做饭、唱歌、思乡。译文将这些事件简要地转换出来,各事件之间用连接词(After,As soon as,as if,Wherever)串接,并适当地使用合句法和分句法。这样,译文的整个段落有了明确的衔接符号,在逻辑上是清晰的。